Sex In The Soviet Union

I’m Igor Kheifets, and this is the List Building Lifestyle, a podcast for anyone who wants to build a wildly profitable email list working from home. If you’d like to make six figures, travel the world, and help people improve their lives in the process, then this podcast is for you. I also invite you to attend a free workshop at Igor.ac, where I’m teaching how I made $21,779 and 45 cents in affiliate commissions, by sending just 481 clicks to my affiliate link in one day.

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Welcome back to another edition of the List Building Lifestyle, with your host, Igor Kheifets. Now, the title of this episode is Sex in the Soviet Union, and for any of you listening who actually lived in the Soviet Union or studied the Soviet Union, that will make a lot of sense, because if you remember, and I was born a little bit before it fell apart, just before the Iron Curtain came down, and by the time I was conscious, it was over. However, the thing about something like the Soviet Union, is even if the thing falls apart, you don’t just forget about it. It takes a little while for people to move on, and for the first, I would say 10, 15 years or so, people really struggled with changing their mentality.

So on paper, the Soviet Union did fall apart and the government supposedly changed, but the way people were and the way the governments were, didn’t. And so, the one thing that’s really universal for pretty much all post-Soviet Union territory, is that people had a really nasty relationship with two things. And when I mean nasty, I mean, they really, they were oftentimes in denial. They weren’t openly discussing it, they had negative beliefs about it, and the two things were sex and money.

Now incidentally, for some reason, they had fewer hiccups about crime, stealing, lying, cheating, being bad to each other, kind of mistreating each other, but they had lots of negative beliefs about sex and money, and particularly about sex, and what was going on there was people kind of pretended sex didn’t even exist. So there were babies born every day, although the hospitals were crap, and the mortality rate was really, really high, but in terms of where do babies come from, there was this huge denial, ridiculous denial that people just seemed to go along with, as if sex doesn’t even exist.

And so you see, I believe that right now, today for most people, even though we do live in a very material world where material wealth is right there in our face, so if you live in North America, you’re seeing material wealth everywhere, pretty much, and it’s also celebrated, right? So if you drive a Rolls-Royce, if you’re doing the Grant Cardone thing, and you’re flying the private jet, you’re buying the Rolls-Royce with your Zodiac sign on the ceiling and everything, you’re being celebrated just for being rich. And that’s why also people who are just celebrities, they’re being celebrated for being celebrities, therefore being rewarded with more money, and the more money they have, the more they’re being rewarded.

So it’s kind of like a self-feeding cycle, and on one hand that’s great, but on the other hand, people who are not celebrities and people who are not rich, they still have a negative set of beliefs that they carry with them about money at all times, specifically, some of them pretend, that just like sex in the Soviet Union, that money doesn’t even exist, meaning that they will get handouts, they will happily get handouts from the government, they will apply for social security. They will try and milk their credit card processor for an extra point on their travel miles, but they will reject the idea that money is out there, it’s easy to come around, that it abides by a certain set of rules that you have to follow. They will absolutely ignore the fact that money’s a good thing, they will pretend money’s a bad thing. They will say things like, “I would rather be healthy and not rich,” which is an actual thing people say.

Now, because I’ve had this, I was at a friend’s barbecue party. It was back in Israel, a while back, a couple of years ago, and I actually started really being picky about the people I hang out with and anyone who has really bad money beliefs, I tend to disconnect from them very, very quickly because it’s contagious. And so, this person, we were just chilling, I was drinking coffee, he was drinking a beer, and he’s a nice guy. His name is [Dima 00:05:48], Dimitri. Really nice dude, just went through a divorce, switched from working for HP, the printer company to working for Intel, the microprocessor company. So he was doing well, he was making a decent amount of money I think, well over $10,000 a month, but he wasn’t rich necessarily, because having gone through a divorce, he had to pay a really big alimony, and then he started a new family, had two kids really quickly.

So you wouldn’t call them rich, but he was definitely comfortable, or making ends meet, I would say, but on a upper middle class level. And so, we start talking about money, because there were three of us at the table, this Dimitri guy another guy, the name of [Yvgeny 00:00:06:34], and myself. Now, me and Yvgeny, we were entrepreneurs and we were making more money than Dimitri, but our lifestyle was pretty much the same because in Israel, to be wealthy and to live like a wealthy person, you actually have to be like a decamillionaire or several decamillionaire, millions worth, and I wasn’t nowhere near close to that at the time, but I was making a good 50 grand a month, which allowed me for a very comfortable lifestyle.

I traveled to pretty much every place I wanted by the time I was 25, so I was doing well and he knew it, and for some reason, he rejected me. Like always, anytime we would get together, I would always get the vibe, and I really couldn’t understand it until he said what he said. And we started talking about money, and me and Yvgeny, the other buddy of mine, we started encouraging him to start his own business, and saying he’s a brilliant guy, he can probably be a consultant, make more money, work from home rather than drive about two hours each way, four times a week.

And he says, “You know, yeah, I could do that, but I would rather be…”, and this is brilliant. I mean, I’m not making this up, because you can’t make shit like that up, then he says, “I’d rather be healthy, rather than rich.” Now, my response to that was, “Why not be both? Why not be healthy? Why not be rich, and why not be happy and fulfilled about what you’re doing every day? Why not have a great family? Why not make great contributions to your causes? Why don’t have all of it? Why not have it all?” And to him, it was such a ludicrous idea that he couldn’t even, he didn’t get it.

He was sitting there and looking at me like I’m some kind of an idiot, expecting for me to explain. Just the proposition of having it all, and being wealthy, and being healthy, and being fulfilled, and being a great family person, and being able to donate to the things you want to donate to, all of that, it didn’t fit in his mind. And that tells you that even after he became comfortable, he still carried the same beliefs about money into his adulthood, as he probably picked up from his surroundings, from his parents, from their parents, from his friends, from people who have a bad, negative, poor relationship with money.

Yo, it’s Igor. If you’re loving the content, hop on over to listbuildinglifestyleshow.com for more free training and a free transcript of this episode. Oh, and I’d really appreciate if you logged into iTunes and rated the show, it really helps. Thanks.

And I think that in today’s age, in the digital economy, it’s almost like, if you still have this about money, if you still have hiccups about money, fine. That’s cool, but to have this idea, to still be buying into this idea that money is hard, and money makes you a bad person, and that money is evil, and that you don’t really need a lot of money and you should just get by, and you’d rather have a little bit of money but be an honest and diligent person, as if one cancels out the other, to have that as your modus operandi, as your guiding star throughout life, that is just stupid.

That is stupid, because what it does, it condemns you for a life of poverty. It condemns you for life of an absolute mediocrity and struggle. Not only that, not only that, but if you have kids, or if you are a role model to someone in your life, that actually condemns them to the same thing, because if they look up to you for advice and guidance on how to live their life, and it doesn’t have to be only about the money, it could be about any area of their life, because anything you believe in tends to kind of show up in other areas too.

For example, in my personal life, right? Money is prevalent. So money is important and typically, I’m struggling to keep friends that have a negative relationship with money. Not because I’m a bad person or they’re bad people, no, because we just think on a different wavelength, and so when I get together with a buddy of mine to just kind of sit down, have a beer, whatever, although I don’t drink, I would have coffee, he would probably be having the beer. But whenever we sit down, if I tell him that what I’ve done is I just went out there, I got two nannies for my wife, because I remember in the first marriage, having a baby was really difficult. I had really put a strain in the marriage, my sex life wasn’t there for about a year and a half, I was really considering a divorce too.

The only reason I didn’t was because at the time, I joined this community that kind of made me question everything about myself and my beliefs, which was just the perfect timing for me to question myself and to start recognizing that, hey, you know what? My wife had a really bad fucking time trying to bring up Erica on her own in the first year and a half or so. The things she went through, the things her body went through, the things her identity went through, that wasn’t easy. And so, it wasn’t about her not loving me anymore, it’s actually about her going through a rough patch and me needing to be there to support her through it. And so, it took me a while to get there, and that’s cool, but after seeing what happened in the first time around I said, “Okay, if we’re having another baby, we’re going to bring in a nanny.”

Now of course if you bring in a nanny, you have to bring in two, because one is a bad number, and then you have to rotate them sometimes, and sometimes you have to let them go. So okay, two nannies. Awesome, perfect. And so, that really changes the quality of the family life, right? That changes the quality of pretty much everything, because all of a sudden, it’s not a marriage between a guy who works and a woman who pretty much deals with a baby all day long, but rather, you are maintaining a healthy marriage. You’re able to spend quality time with each other, you’re able to still have your date nights. You’re able to basically, consciously create the environment where your marriage continues to thrive, right? And I’m not even talking about all the other side benefits such as, for example, my wife not being a great cook, right? So having way tastier and healthier meals than we used to have.

So my point being is that to make that happen, I need money. And so when I discussed that with a friend who has a bad relationship with money, and he hears me say that I am investing, or quote unquote, spending, which to me is not a spend at all, that’s the proper investment in the quality of the life of my family and my marriage. When I share this with him, to him, that’s just what he says, “What are you mean you’re spending all this money to get a nanny? Why don’t you either save it or maybe stash it away for a rainy day, or maybe lease a new car?” Right? “Why spend it on bringing in help or for the things you could be doing yourself?” You see, but that’s the difference in thinking that won’t allow me anymore, to unfortunately, or fortunately, be friends with poverty consciousness, in general, and poverty conscious people who believe that, hey, you know what? Money isn’t important. No, money is fucking important. It’s very important. It’s probably one of the most important things you don’t have in your life right now.

And to bring up another sex analogy. I don’t remember why I read it, but someone wrote, “Money is a lot like sex. When you have it, you don’t think about it, but when you don’t have it, it’s the only thing you think about,” right? Which also could be true about air, for example. When you have it, you don’t think about it, when you don’t have it, that’s pretty much the only thing you think about for the next two minutes before you die. So point being, is that money’s important, and you need to get on with the program to appreciate that, and to accept that as one of the core beliefs in your life. If you don’t, if down at your core you believe that money is not important, and that money makes you a bad person, and that money is not essential to a happy life, and that money should not be on your list of things that you should be worried about and thinking about all day long, pretty much, then first off, you shouldn’t be even in business, right? You shouldn’t be trying to be an entrepreneur.

So this podcast will not give you any value, that’s for sure. But second, I mean, think how difficult your life will be forever, until the very day you die, and even after you die, which I think is so selfish of you to think this way, but even after you die, if you don’t save up enough money for your funeral, then you’re putting another other chore on the shoulders of your loved ones to say, “Hey guys, now I’m dead. I don’t even breathe anymore, but you know what? You still have to go out there and find some money to get a funeral going, get me a nice coffin to be buried in. You have to go and get some work done and find some money.”

And I mean, I know it sounds sarcastic when I say it, but I’ve seen it happen three times in my life. Three times I’ve seen my parents go out there and look for money to arrange funerals for their parents. And one of the things that my grandmother from my mom’s side used to worry a lot about before she left us was the getting buried money. She actually had a thing where she stashed a few grand, just for that. And I remember it was around the time when I was still trying to become successful online, and me and my wife went to the dentist, and the dentist kind of showed us this bill for 30 something thousand shekels, which is about $10,000, which we didn’t have. So I went and asked for a little bit of money from my grandma, from my mom’s side, because we didn’t have any money at all to begin the treatment.

And I told her, “Look, I will pay you back. I’m working on my online business. I’ll pay you back. I’ll work double time in my security job. I’ll do whatever, I’ll pay you back,” and she said, “Look, you don’t have to pay me back, but all I can do is I can give you $1,000, because the rest is in my getting buried fund.” So she was worried about that. You see, but that’s not the kind of thing I want to worry about. When I’m dying, I don’t want to have that fund. I want to have my place in the cemetery, all prepaid cash, right next to someone famous, maybe. Maybe next to Mark Twain, or maybe next to Gordon Ramsay. I mean, someone who’s really cool, right? Somebody who left people excited when they were alive and when they died. And by the way, just [inaudible 00:17:59], Gordon Ramsay, I don’t think he’s dead yet, but it’d be really cool to be next to him. He’s a really cool dude.

Anyway, my point being is that when I’m dying, I don’t want for my relatives and friends to worry about the money, unless it comes down to how they split it, which, this could lead to a whole other set of issues, but I really want to go and I want to make sure my family is secure. That’s one of my life goals, is to leave them way better off than I started. I want them to always have that security, so they get to really get creative about the life they want to live, rather than spend half their life trying to get out of a shit hole, and another half trying to figure out what to do with the money, because they weren’t educated or taught what to do with it.

So to sum up, look, your relationship with money is a real thing. It’s like your relationship with a family member or a friend, or someone else. It’s like a real person in your life, and if you constantly tell them they are not important, if you tell them they don’t matter, if you tell them that you don’t have time for them, if you tell them that you’d rather have a relationship with someone else than them, then money will never come to you, and even if it does come to you in some weird way, like inheritance or something, it will quickly walk away. You’ve got to start rethinking that. You’ve got to start to pay attention to all the money you’re making, and especially the money you’re not making, because there’s a lot more of it out there.

Anyway, this concludes another episode of the List Building Lifestyle, with your host, Igor Kheifets. And until next time we chat, have a good one.

Thank you for listening to the List Building Lifestyle. Get access to previous episodes, the transcription of today’s show, as well as other exclusive content at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com. Also, don’t forget to claim your free seat at the workshop I’m hosting this week, where I show the two step system that made me the top affiliate for people like Matt Bacak, John Crestani, Richard Legg, Michael Chaney, and many, many others. In fact, on this workshop, I’m going to show you the exact approach I take, whenever I promote an affiliate offer, the exact offers I promote, as well as how I was able to make over half a million dollars in commissions, using my small list of just 18,000 people, promoting a weird type of product that almost no one else promotes. All that is yours at Igor.ac. So go ahead and claim your seat right now, and I’ll see you there.