How To Stop Buying Into Your Own Bullshit

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Hi, my name is Igor Kheifets and this is the List Building Lifestyle, the only podcast
which delivers cutting edge conversion strategies from the online trenches straight to
your earbuds. Download the transcript of today’s episode and all future episodes at
listbuilidnglifestylesshow.com. I also invite you to grab a free copy of “The Wealthy
List Builder’s Survival Guide” at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com/survival and now
once again it’s time to claim your List Building Lifestyle.

Jonathan: Welcome back to List Builders to another action packed episode of List
Building Lifestyle with your man, Mr. Igor Kheifets.

Igor: Action packed? I mean I got to start blowing shit up here?

Jonathan: Bro, that’s what you do in the royal port with the royal butt. You blow
up spots, friend.

Igor: [Laughter] Yeah, well I do a lot of things but I haven’t blown anything up
so if anyone is a demolition expert and you want to invite me to a show or
something I’m open. I’m receiving invitations, we’re open, feel free to reach out
to me through the website.

Jonathan: There you go. [laughter] Customers only, you got to sign up first.

Igor: Yeah. You got to buy traffic first of course.

Jonathan: [[Laughter] Alright, Igor. So what is the story today? What do you have
for us?

Igor: Well, Jonathan, it’s not really a story because most stories are made up.
What I want to chat about today is probably this reality which is really
frustrating to me and it’s frustrating because occurs again and again and again
and it has been occurring for as long as I have been in this industry which is
nearly a decade now. Here’s what happens. Bob signs up for a business opportunity.
Bob tries his hardest to learn this business opportunity inside out, watches a
bunch of videos, tries to share it with his friends and family, and quits because
it doesn’t make him any sales. Bob once he quits, he takes a break for like six
months and then he realizes how much his life sucks and he’s back trying to make
money with business opportunities and the first thing he is doing, he is choosing
a different business opportunity. Why? Well because if it’s a different business
opportunity things maybe different. So Bob joins this new business opportunity and
now he says last time I didn’t try this and he tries social media marketing and
he’s trying his damn hardest and two months later, he is still not making any
money or maybe he made one sale but not enough and he says, “Fuck it I’m quitting
his one as well.” But this time instead of like quitting, he quits just the
business opportunity and he goes to the next one and the cycle sort of repeats
itself over and over and over again to the tune of sometimes of ten years. Ten
years of struggling from one business opportunity to the next which is ridiculous
but it’s true that’s what the reality is. So this episode, this broadcast if you
will is really, I’m basically doing it for the Bob’s, for the Bob’s of the world
that are jumping, the Jumpers. So if you’re a jumper. I got a question for you.
The question is very, very simple. You seem to question everything. You seem to
question the business opportunity. You seem to question the people that brought
you into the business opportunity. You question the traffic sources that you’re
using for the business opportunity. You question the management of the business
opportunity and even the tactics that are being taught within the business
opportunity and how to promote the business opportunity, yet I never seen a single
Bob question himself or herself, if Bob is a woman’s name but you know you get
what I’m saying. The metaphorical Bob needs to question him or herself more often
because it is quite frankly stupid to question everything and everyone but
yourself when it comes to building an online business.

Jonathan: Man, I was about to get on you because last time we recorded you turned
me on to some Bruce Lee books and I read Bruce Lee’s Striking Thoughts and that
was one of the things, that’s actually the main thing that I got from that book
was question everything and it almost felt like you were saying not to question
everything but you said, question everything and yourself so dammit I wanted to
pick a fight with you.

Igor: Yeah, that’s not happening man.

Jonathan: [Laughter]

Igor: You’re my bud; you’re the only person I’m not fighting.

Jonathan: [Laughter] It sucks. I so badly wanted to challenge you but you’re right
how many people are looking for answers outside of themselves. I think we talked
about this in an episode about God where everybody is just looking for answers
outside of themselves but they never go internally to find the real answers.

Igor: That is exactly that. In fact, I had the weirdest conversation. It’s funny
you brought this up, I had the weirdest conversation with a friend of mine who
really – she believes in God really, she works in this coffee shop where I usually
work at and she is basically a Jew but she believes that Jesus Christ is the
Savior. That’s her religious belief. So she comes from a very religious family and
I had this conversation with her. I am like, “Do you believe that Jesus is going
to come and basically save everyone?” She’s like, “Yes, Jesus is going to save
us.” Okay. “Do you think that’s going to happen in your lifetime?” She says, “Yes,
I think he will show up.”

Jonathan: Wow.

Igor: I’m like, “Okay.” We don’t know that, right? So I can’t question that but
then before I could ask her another question, she says the most incredible thing,
“You know my mother is very religious and she has three friends that did not
believe they will be able to meet Jesus and to see Jesus, in fact they feared that
moment when he comes because he will put all believers through some test of some
kind.” I’m not sure if it’s a quiz or like trial by fire but basically he’s going
to put every believer through some sort of test. Her mother’s friends said, “They
don’t think they will pass the test.” And you know what happened Jonathan?

Jonathan: What?

Igor: All of them died last year.

Jonathan: Oh gosh.

Igor: They were woman in their mid-50s and all of them; the three of them have
passed away. Now as far as I’m concerned if I’m going to study their medical
history, their behaviors, their eating habits, I’m sure I can find a reason why
these woman passed away. Now my friend thinks that they passed away simply because
they feared God and they didn’t think they will be able to handle it so that’s the
reason they died.

Jonathan: [Laughter]

Igor: So once again, I love her, I love her, trust me she’s one of my bestest
friends but that is one of those prime example of how people question everything,
how people put the belief in everything but them, how they will do anything to
take the responsibility from their shoulders and put it on someone else’s be it a
real person or an imaginary person or maybe it’s an imaginary non-person but
whatever the case it’s not them.

Jonathan: Alright so bring it back to the business before we get in trouble for
all our religious talk here but what is it that these people have going on, Bob,
Bob-him, Bob-her, why are they not questioning what’s going on internally? What is
it that is keeping them from actually going in and getting those answer that they
much need especially after 10 years?

Igor: Well, because the idea that the reason Bob has been wasting time and wasting
money and going through one humiliating experience after another is Bob’s fault is
so damn painful that it’s easier to go seeking outside reasoning for the same
reason a lot of people will blame and complain the government. They will complain
about the government and they will blame the government in all their life’s
problems simply because if they admit to themselves that they are to blame at
least to an extent, I mean come on, it’s your life, you make the decisions, you
choose to wake up in the morning. You make a conscious decision not to kill
yourself every morning thus you are responsible for your life so these same people
that’s the same mentality. I will blame the government simply because the
government can’t really respond back to me in fact whenever a politician speaks
whenever there is a new election, the politicians kind of take the responsibility,
they will point the finger at their competitors saying they ruined the country or
they ruined country or if you like this guy, he will ruin the country as if the
people have nothing to do with it at all.

Jonathan: I’m feeling sad now for these people or maybe I should feel happy
because that just means less competition for us, doesn’t it?

Igor: Yes, it does but at the same time think of the world we are living in. I
mean sure I understand that in a big way this industry exists because people are
too complacent, lazy, and irresponsible to take any responsibility for what’s
going on in their lives. I understand that. That is why they need punching bags
and they need guys like us to blame because we are so evil, we are making all the
money, they are not making anything so we are basically taking that money out of
their pocket that’s why we are rich. However, at the same time, it’s extremely
irritating and it just reinforces the world to move in a really bad direction, in
a really bad direction, in a direction where everybody is an insomnolent slob, a
sloth you know just – it’s disgusting. Now think of the world we will build if
everybody, every Bob, every Jane, every Frank, every Igor will take 100% personal
responsibility for everything in their life. Be it the good stuff or the bad
stuff, think of the world we can build and the world our children can live in and
grow up in and their children can grow up in if we were to do that.

Jonathan: That’s not going to happen and I will tell you why. Because the
ultra-elites, the people at the very top, the top half percent, they want you to
be dependent on your government, to be dependent on your God, to be looking for
those answers outside yourself so you don’t take accountability, you don’t rise up
and you don’t get your piece of the pie so you can be that little slob or that
little gnat that they flick away. That’s my belief on it.

Igor: Well, I agree with you. I agree with you 100% but you know what is sad. Sad
part is not that they want it to happen that way; it’s that they don’t even need
to do anything for that to happen.

Jonathan: [Laughter]

Igor: They just need for the human nature and the society to keep doing what it’s
doing. That’s the problem; the problem is that every Bob out there is a fricking
drifter. He doesn’t even think for himself and when he thinks he thinks for
himself, he’s not really because if Bob or Jane would take responsibility for
their actions and decisions, the first person they would question would be
themselves just like every successful internet marketer that I’ve ever met in this
industry no matter online or offline just like that because that’s how they do it.
You don’t hear Russell Bronson or Frank Kern complaining that they purchased a
course for $10,000 that didn’t quite work out for them, do you? But I’m sure
Russell Bronson and Frank Kern have some setbacks in their business, they lose
money, they lose time, they make mistakes, they hire employees that are bad
employees. Basically they have their own problems to deal with but you don’t hear
them blaming everybody else for those problems.

Jonathan: I know that some people are – you know some people are getting hurt and
those are probably going to be the victim people and now some people are being
empowered because I have a feeling you’re not trying to put us down here, Igor,
are you?

Igor: Well, I guess I have my own way of motivating people and it can come across
as too harsh and even evil to some.

Jonathan: [Laughter] Evil Igor.

Igor: If you choose not to hear what I’m saying, if you choose to hear the
offensive stuff then it is up to you. It’s your decision and again it just
reinforces the mentality, “Oh Igor, he’s such an asshole. I don’t want to listen
to him.” You know whatever. As if I gain something from telling you that you’re
acting responsible. But even if all we have done is alienated a thousand listeners
and one person has now gotten the permission to take control of their life and
change it then as far as I’m concerned we did a great thing today. We did a
mitzvah like we did something good. It’s a Jewish word. As far as I’m concerned if
you’re offended by this just unsubscribe and leave me a bad comment about the show
in iTunes and I will never talk to you again until you sober up and come back
about two years later saying how right I was. But if you hear the truth in what
I’m saying because I’m not sugarcoating anything here; by the way Jonathan you
know how it’s interesting it’s the people that care about you the most will tell
it to you straight, no sugarcoating just even being offensive at times while the
people who really have an agenda that want something from you, they will kind of
sweeten shit up. They will put it in a really sweet bubble or something.

Jonathan: Wow.

Igor: So it looks nice or it tastes nice, you know. Isn’t that the truth?

Jonathan: Yes. Interesting that you say that I’m going to let my wife know about
that. [laughter]

Igor: [Laughter]

Jonathan: I’m not an asshole I love you.

Igor: That’s what I’m saying. Honestly that’s exactly what happened with me and my
wife about 2 years ago. I told her and I’m going to lose so many female listeners
right now but I told her she was fat.

Jonathan: What?

Igor: Like when she gave birth to Ericka, I gave her a couple years to recover
because obviously giving birth is like having a truck drive over you. It’s really
not simple, it’s really difficult and give women credit for being able to do that
plus after give birth take care of the kid that’s another trial by fire kind of
thing but two years after you give birth if you don’t get back in shape; there’s
something wrong with you. Either you don’t care about your marriage and yourself,
first and foremost about yourself and your health or there is something mentally
wrong with you. So I told my wife, “Look you’ve gotten really fat and I don’t like
that. I don’t appreciate it.”

Jonathan: [laughter]

Igor: To mention in part Jonathan just like with marketing, what I have done is I
triggered an existing pain because she felt the same way but it was only after I
said it that she felt that it was about time she did something with it. Lo and
behold, two years later, she is fucking hot; in fact she is hotter than she was
before giving birth.

Jonathan: Good grief. You really triggered something.

Igor: Yeah so I mean it wasn’t easy, it was really difficult to tell my wife face
to face, you’re fat you look like a cow.

Jonathan: Oh gosh.

Igor: It sparked – she responded to it that way you have to respond to criticism
when the criticism has any basis to it right? Maybe she’s been listening to the
show but she responded to it in a really good way and she said, “You know what?
You’re right.” Now the part that I’m not telling you about is that she said, “Well
you’re fat too.”

Jonathan: [Laughter]

Igor: Which of course I didn’t want to admit to myself but I was fat and I lost a
bunch of weight since, changed my diet. So anyway, we kind of motivate each other
by insulting each other sometimes and that’s how we do it. It works for us.

Jonathan: [Laughter] You got to find what works for you, Igor.

Igor: Yeah.

Jonathan: I could not say that to my wife but you know what my dad is like that.
He used to say that to my mom all the time and after my mom passed away he got
remarried. He got with this girl who is a wonderful girl and that’s how he
motivated her too. He would say, “You’re fat you need to run that off.” I’m like
holy crap, really? They are still together 10 years later so I guess it works for
some people.

Igor: You know there is this belief that critical honesty works really well. Mark
Manson, an author I really respect. He talks a lot about attracting woman through
critical honesty. So if a woman wears this cleavage for instance and she is
putting her boobs on the show so she wants the guys to see it, what you can do is
you can just stand in front of her and just look at her boobs and if she says,
“What the hell is wrong with you why are you looking there?” You can say, “Well,
you obviously wear clothing that tells us that you want us to look so what the
hell is your problem?”

Jonathan: You’re welcome.

Igor: Exactly. Just the other day, we were at a party and this other friend of
ours, she wore a t-shirt and her nipples – you can see the nipples so we just
started staring the nipples. At first she was like, “Oh well, you know what I’m
fine with that.” But fairly soon she was sitting with her arms folded.

Jonathan: Yeah.

Igor: Really slouched so you can’t see it because on one hand there’s the duality
that woman want attention but once you give it to them they really withdraw and
understand how stupid it was for them to do something like that. But anyway that’s
a whole other subject; I think it could be an episode in itself.

Jonathan: Yeah the nipple show.

Igor: [Laughter]

Jonathan: [Laughter]

Igor: The nipple lifestyle.

Jonathan: Oh crap. So Igor what are some parting thoughts you have for the List
Builders was we are coming to a close of this one?

Igor: I want the List Builders to walk away from this episode with this idea; you
are not right all of the time. In fact most of the time, you’re completely wrong.
You’re really a bad judge of what you need and what you don’t need in your life
and what’s right and what’s wrong and what’s going to make you happy and what’s
not going to make you happy and what causes your results and failure and what
doesn’t so first and foremost stop kind of running on autopilot, question
everything about yourself, question everything about your routine, question your
habits, question your belief system and you’ll find the quality of your life
improve dramatically and then get help from somebody who is qualified to help you
of course like a mentor. But Jonathan, I kid you not on my Facebook feed I have
seen somebody who is 12 years old and he says he is a life coach.

Jonathan: Alright. I need one of these.

Igor: It’s just incredible and this guy published a book already with his father.

Jonathan: Good for him, I got to give that kid props. [laughter]

Igor: Man, I got to get Ericka moving, I mean she’s falling behind. She’s four and
she hasn’t published a book or started a podcast yet, Jonathan.

Jonathan: You’re slacking. I’m questioning your parenting.

Igor: My point is this get a mentor who is experienced, who is qualified to poke
holes in your bullshit, and who can guide you in the right direction when you’re
trying to make key decisions, decisions that can shape the course of your life and
your business.

Jonathan: Boom! There it is so another episode of List Building Lifestyle is in
the can. Thank you, Igor, thank you, Nipples and thank you List Builders for
tuning in, we’ll be back next time.

Thanks for listening to The List Building Lifestyle Show, make sure to subscribe on iTunes
or Google. Play to never miss an episode because who knows just one conversion tactic
we share on the show might double your list and double your business. Download the
transcript of today’s episode and all future episodes at listbuilderslifestyleshow.com and
don’t forget to claim your complimentary copy of “The Wealthy List Builder’s Survival
Guide” at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com/survival . This is Igor Kheifets until next time we talk, have a good one.

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