Risk, Reward, and Chicken Nuggets

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00:50

Erica, my daughter participated in a local, like a local festival, where she got to perform and do and perform in two categories. She was singing and dancing. So, I’m very happy and proud. I caught myself, you know, whenever she’s on stage, or just, I feel like I don’t know, it’s just a different feeling altogether, like making sales at this point doesn’t bring the same sort of feeling as seeing her perform. But it used to, I used to know So, it’s a little bit different. But seeing her perform on the personal level is just amazing. And for me as a parent is to teach her to strive towards success, but to not make it mean that if she doesn’t become successful or win a competition, to not make it mean that she’s less worthy. Because her response in the first place was naturally like, oh, I won. But their response to the third place in the second category, she actually got upset that she wasn’t at least second. And, you know, she oh basically took it personally. So, I had to reason with her a little bit. And remind her that, you know, it’s very subjective, it’s art. So, it’s in the perspective of that one particular person who was judging your performance. So, like, I had to alleviate some of that, because I used to take it personal, I used to like it if I didn’t like it, if some other, you know, kid ran faster than me, or they scored a goal and I didn’t or whatnot. I remember, we had a basketball game in school.

02:26

And I was on the bench. Because only five kids play at a time on each team. So, I was on the bench and we had this kid, Max, he was really good at basketball. Like he was one of those who scores 20 points in a game when everyone else is struggling to get a point. So, when he scored like 18 points and had, you know, five assists and eight rebounds or something, like I started hating him greatly.

02:54

And I felt insecure and embarrassed sitting on the bench. Because I felt like I was on the sidelines. It wasn’t contributing, and I felt like a loser. So, it was super important to me to find an outlet where I could excel. So, I ended up excelling in academic studies, you know, math, history, things like that. So, I took big, you know, huge pride in being and being a straight A student and you know, being the best at those things. And I needed to do that, because otherwise I felt really insecure. So, I think while it could motivate you with it, it also led to lots of unhealthy emotional stuff. So, with my daughter and my son, I want to be really careful. And I want to instill the values, okay, here are the things I’m proud of you for doing with this performance as you got onstage in front of people, it’s huge, so you performed exactly as you practiced. So, you executed exactly as you practiced. And that’s great. You didn’t get nervous about it or whatnot. So that was amazing. Third, you went out and you took a risk. That in and of itself is huge. I want her to be able to be okay with taking risks to be okay with dealing with the consequences. Because I feel it’s a really important parameter. So, you know, for anyone who becomes a successful person, usually they have that ability, where they can stomach risk, they can stomach consequences of their decisions.

04:27

You know, things like that, like trying to instill dedication to craft, right. So, it’s another thing that she’d done. That’s a dedication to her art. And that’s a feather in her cap. That’s a success. So, kind of trying to offer perspective early on. It’s not just about what you win. Oh, you’re amazing. Did you lose your ship? You know, I don’t want that for her. I really want for her to have a more complete sense of who she is and the ability to celebrate your wins just as much as she would want to be upset about her you know about her mistakes. And I think we’re all right. I mean, I’m not sure how good of a job we’re doing but I think we’re alright because by the time we made it home, it was a 24-minute drive home. You know, she was smiling. In all we celebrated with some chicken nuggets, watched the movie or read some Dr. Seuss, it was great. Like she went to bed positive right, she went to bed feeling whole and complete about her identity, rather than thinking Ah, third place and some other girl was better than me or something like that, or at least not that I noticed anything like that.

05:40

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