Igor’s 7 Biggest Regrets of 2019

I love asking people what’s their biggest regret in life. Most tell me (read: lie to me) they have no regrets. I don’t buy that. We all regret something. Something we never said. Something we never did. Something we did that we shouldn’t have. These are my biggest regrets of 2019.


I'm Igor Kheifets, and this is the List Building Lifestyle, a podcast for anyone who wants to build a wildly profitable email list working from home. If you'd like to make six figures, travel the world, and help people improve their lives in the process, then this podcast is for you. I also invite you to attend a free workshop at Igor.ac where I'm teaching how I made $21,779.45 in affiliate commissions by sending just 481 clicks to my affiliate link in one day.

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Welcome back to another edition of the List Building Lifestyle with your host, Igor Kheifets. I have a question I love to ask people, especially if they're older than me and more successful than me or at least successful in some area of their life to an extent that I would like to be. The question I ask them is, if you could go back in time and meet yourself 20 years ago, or 10 years ago, or depending how old they are. So if they're like 50 years old, I'm saying, "What if you could meet your 30-year-old self? What would you tell yourself?" The question is, and some people take a little bit of time to answer this question, but most people can't. This is what I'm finding. Most people, they don't really answer it, but instead, they go and they try to tell me that they have no regrets.

Now, I don't ask them if they have regrets. I kind of assume we all have them, but it seems like people are really ashamed of having any regrets about anything, or maybe like they're free to admit it to themselves that they have some or maybe to other people. Maybe when they're alone in the shower, right, they think about the things that they regret. But for me, personally, I've never... I don't hide from the fact that I regret some things and that I don't regret some other things.

What I wanted to do is I wanted to share with you the seven regrets I have about this passing year because now that the year is coming to an end, every time it does and every time there's a birthday as well. So for me, it happens twice a year. Every time there's a digit switching somewhere, I tend to think about all the things that I didn't do, and one of the things that made me think this way is I remember one day, I was watching a YouTube video. It was advice from people who made it to their hundreds or made it to like 90 years old, and they were sharing advice.

One of the most common themes to everything that these folks were saying was that they regretted not speaking their mind at one point or they regretted not following their dream at one point. So basically, they had regrets of things of things they haven't done or things they haven't said, and that made me realize that when I'm on my deathbed, I don't want to have regrets for things I didn't do. Even if I failed at the things I tried, I want to make sure that I really gave it my best shot.

So today, I sat down, and I thought if you asked me if I had any regrets from this year, not my whole life. I'm not ready to go that deep yet, but just for this passing year, if I had any regrets, what would I answer? I came up with seven things that I truly regret that I'm going to share with you in this episode.

Now, I will preface it though that some of these things make a lot of sense and they will make sense to you, especially if you share my values about family, money, relationships, and stuff like that. Some of these things will be really shallow, and so I'm openly sharing these with you just in hopes of being honest. If you want to judge me, judge me. No problem at all, but I just want to preface it to make you aware that I am aware of the fact that some of my regrets are really shallow.

So anyway, first and foremost, this year, I regret most about seeking permission to be successful from other people, and that's one of the reasons why this year, I've joined the Genius Network, Joe Polish's Genius Network for $25,000 a year. That's one of the reasons why I'm still considering on whether or not to join Strategic Coach, but joining the Genius Network and meeting people who were willing to pay $25,000 a year for a membership in a mastermind with other people just like them and having met people from all kinds of different industries ranging from things such selling real estate coaching to being best-selling authors to people who own like large pet hotel businesses to people who even own some of the largest poultry companies that are supplying the United States with all the poultry. Right?

So next time you're eating chicken McNuggets, chances are I met the guy who owns the farm because they are like... They have a huge, huge, huge business. Again, we're not getting into the whole argument whether it's humane or not. I'm not here for that, but point being is that I met a bunch of people from a bunch of industries who are some on the same level of success, more successful, and less successful than I am if we just look at the money part of it, and they also... Within the walls of such masterminds, what people do, they talk less about business, and they talk more about their personal issues unfortunately because I was really hoping that people will be talking about business more in that mastermind, but it is what it is.

When you're like in the room and you're listening... When someone picks up the microphone and she owns like a bunch of hotels, but at the same time, she talks about how her marriage fell apart, and her son isn't listening to her, and how she had three surgeries, it's like she's not doing something right. Right? I mean, there's something off. Even though she is probably making more money than me, it seems to me that I have a better grip on my personal life, and I have way less stress in my life than she does in hers.

So this is just one example, but point being is that I would always look up to people who I would consider more successful almost looking for a permission for them to tell me, "Go be more successful," as if there's something wrong with me, as if I'm like not allowed to, and that's one of the reasons why for years, and years, and years, I've invested in coaching, and still do, and probably still will continue to do because when you invest $5,000, or $10,000, or $20,000 in coaching with someone, and you start having calls with them, and you start spending time with them, and you hang out with them, what happens is you automatically get permission to become more successful because your brain treats it like a rite of passage, right, of some kind. Kind of like a bar mitzvah, if you will.

So I've noticed that in business or in life, people have to go through in other bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah in order to become... in order to achieve the next level of success. So for me, I've already became a millionaire at that point, but I'm like still waiting for someone else to give me permission, and I waited for the whole year this year and past years as well. So I would always like limit myself at a certain level of success and never hitting the kind of level of success that I felt that I wanted. So that's one regret I have for sure because after you meet enough of these people, after you meet enough of your gurus, if you will, in person, you realize these people have so many problems, and they're so dysfunctional, and they are making a lot of stuff up as they go. So you're not less qualified to be a multimillionaire than they are.

Trust me. After you meet enough of these people in person, wow oh wow what you discover. So seeking permission to be more successful, definitely a mistake, and I regret, I regret following this sort of philosophy for many, many years. Now, I'm working on daring myself into new levels of success. Literally, challenging myself into new levels of success even though it's still pretty difficult for me or had been until now because I also realized that I'm a role model for my kids. If I play small, they play small. So like for me, as far as I'm concerned, I'm doing my absolute best to hold myself accountable to the people I care about the most. If I know that by playing small, I encourage them to play small, then you better be confident that Igor is going to play way bigger game in 2020.

So the second regret that I've got is not scheduling date nights because what I'm starting to notice, and it took me a good 10 years, is that everything is becoming more important and gets higher priority on the list of things to do than dating your wife. Right? So in other words, the idea is that one of the most important people in your life upon whom you probably have like 90% of your happiness depending, you get to spend the least quality time with them. So scheduling at least one date night a week is an absolute necessity.

Now, I haven't done that ever. Not once I've scheduled a date night besides maybe anniversaries and birthdays, but even this year, on our scheduled anniversary, wedding anniversary, and we're together for 11 years now, we had to cancel our plans because, well, my kid, my little one, my son, he kind of fell. So basically, the plans got canceled even though they were scheduled, but I know if I had that thing scheduled once a week and I treated it like a client appointment, that would have significantly improved the qualify of our life because it's really hard to spend quality time together when you've got two kids and a business. It's truly, truly hard. So that's definitely a regret of mine, which I'm going to be fixing in 2020.

Yo, It's Igor. If you're loving the content, hop on over to listbuildinglifestyleshow.com for more free training and a free transcript of this episode. Oh, and I'd really appreciate if you logged into iTunes and rated the show. It really helps. Thanks.

The next one, number three, is not scheduling thinking time. That's another huge regret I've got because I've... Well, it wasn't as important to me when I started. When I started, the most important thing was to put together an offer, build a sales funnel, drive traffic. That's it. That's all I had to do. But then, the more the business grew and the bigger the operation became, the more projects we had going on. This past year, we hosted a seminar, and we've done a bunch of really cool stuff, released a bunch of products. Right? The more promotions I have to run.

Like a lot of that stuff, it requires thinking. So not scheduling thinking time for the same... because of the same principle that I've just described with the date nights. If you don't schedule it, it's not happening. If you don't treat it like a client appointment, it's not happening. If you don't treat that time as the kind of thing you have to do because you set up an appointment with someone, it's just not happening. So not scheduling, not scheduling the thinking time was definitely something that I believe to be a regret, and I will be scheduling more thinking time for myself in 2020, and that time will be scheduled in the morning, by the way.

So in other words, I used to think that I could just schedule it for the evening time or just say, "Okay. Let me first get this job done or work done, and then I'll do it." But the fact of the matter is at 4:00 p.m. in the afternoon, having written a lot of copy or done some mentally intensive work, and now that your kids are at home, there is no thinking time. You're going to forget about that. Your brain is fried at that point, so scheduling thinking time in the morning is definitely something that's a regret for me that I want to be doing more of.

Number four, this is one of those shallow ones that I warned you about. So number four is I regret not buying a Bentley, and I've had a conversation about this with Dennis too and my wife, and both of them were like, "You should go and buy yourself a Bentley. Go buy a Bentley because you want a Bentley. You wanted a Bentley for a long, long time. You've been talking about buying a Bentley for a few years. Go buy a Bentley. You can afford it."

To be honest with you, yeah, I know I can afford it. It's just I can't make myself go and invest so much money into a depreciating asset. So instead, I drive a $30,000 S-class, which is a really nice car. It's an S550. Massage seats, heated steering wheel, 450 horsepower engine, all wheel drive. I mean, long wheel base. Look, it's a really good car, but we're talking about regrets, and I'm just being honest with you. I regret not buying a Bentley. So in 2020, I intend on fixing that, and I'm making a commitment right here in the podcast, so you can hold me accountable and follow this progress.

To me, if you're wondering, "Why the hell would you need a Bentley if you're driving a Mercedes S-class?" Well, I'll share with you. This is an analogy I heard from Ed Mylett. So if you eat a steak, say... Let's say you like steak, and you have a really good steak tonight, and you really enjoyed the steak, and you love the steak, and it's just the best freaking steak you've ever had in your life. Three days from now, would you want another steak?

Chances are you won't say no to a steak and you will enjoy the next steak just as much if not more. Does that make your other steak that you ate two days ago or three days ago any worse? No. Does it take away anything from that steak? No. It's just that's the nature of the... That's the creatures we are.

I don't know many people who are just satisfied with what they've got. I don't know many people who are just enough people like, "So I have enough, and so I'm good with that." No, you always want more. That's the part of the evolutionary development. So yeah, I have an S-class, get rid of the S-class, get a Bentley. Right?

That's what I want and that's... Another thing, another reason, by the way, another permission thing like who says we need permission or justification to drive a Bentley, or a Ferrari, or whatever your car is, or maybe it's not even driving cars. Maybe it's wearing $2,000 designer bags. Maybe it's staying in the Four Seasons Hotels. Who says we need permission? That's a made-up concept, and it's not true. You don't need permission or anyone's approval to do things that are good for you that you want to do for yourself as long as you don't hurt anyone in the process. So for me, that means buying a Bentley.

Regret number five, not building a real estate portfolio. This is the one I really, really, really regret, and I think it has a lot to do with the number one, seeking permission, because building a real estate portfolio always seemed like out of reach for me. But I got a buddy who's really good at real estate, and we've been meeting weekly, almost having a date like a date night of ourselves. We've been meeting, and he's been telling me about his real estate business. After being exposed to it for a good year, now I'm starting to believe I can actually do it.

So not building a real estate portfolio is definitely a big regret because I'm thinking, "Man, with my income, I could have started a long time ago and by now, would have a bunch of properties." So big regret for the same reason, by the way, for the legacy reason because real estate I believe is one of the most stable and more secure ways to park your money and to grow your wealth. In fact, there's a whole industry around it. So yeah, I definitely want to build a real estate portfolio. I want to start building one in 2020.

Another regret of mine, more of a personal, more of a shallow, not doing more track days. Now, track days, if you're not familiar, is when you go to a racetrack for a day and you get to drive a bunch of different cars. So you can drive the same car all the time or you can switch cars all the time. That's really up to you. Point being you get to drive around the track in a race car or a super car, an exotic car with an instructor, and you get to really have some fun and really test your own limits.

It's fun. For me, it's really, really fun. It's one of those types of fun that makes me forget about everything else. When I'm behind the wheel, and I'm accelerating on the streets, and I'm going into the Benz, I don't think of anything other than what's going on, and it just clears my mind so, so well. I've had two track days in the summer. It was awesome, and I wish I had more, and so my regret is not doing more of these, and I'm going to be working on that in 2020.

Last but not least of their regrets is not saying how much I appreciate my friends and my family enough. A lot of times, I appreciate them, but I don't say it. That's my regret. Not that I'm not appreciative of them. I am very much appreciative of the people in my life, and I do my best to say it to them and to show it to them. But the problem is a lot of times, I feel like there's a barrier that's stopping me from saying things. I'm not sure why. That's something I haven't been able to figure out, but I know it's there, and I've been consciously working on it and forcing myself to say things to them that I really mean, say how much I appreciate them.

I don't feel I've done enough of it this past year. I've definitely haven't done enough of that in the previous 10 years of my life. I almost never did it. I almost never gave thanks. I almost never shared appreciation, almost never showed my true feelings towards people because I just wasn't brought up this way. I was brought up in the Soviet Union, in the post-Soviet Ukraine actually, so the mentality was if you're a man, a true man, a masculine man does not go around getting touchy and feeling, you know? So my emotional range was one of a potato.

So I've worked on that. I changed that over the years, and the older I get, the easier it is for me to be honest, to get raw and emotional with people. So now, this coming year, in 2020, I've set an intention to just show appreciation to the people in my life at least once a day. So my goal is to just express appreciation to at least one person in my life every day for 365 days. You know what? Even if I missed the mark and I only do it half the time, that's still a big win, a huge win as far as my appreciation and as far as my relationships are concerned. So these are the seven regrets I have from the passing year. All right? In the next episode, I'll share with you the seven things I feel I've done really well in the last year, so stay tuned for that, and until then, have a good one.

Thank you for listening to the List Building Lifestyle. Get access to previous episodes, the transcription of today's show as well as other exclusive content at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com. Also, don't forget to claim your free seat at the workshop I'm hosting this week where I show the two-step system that made me the top affiliate for people like Matt Bacak, John Crestani, Richard Legg, Michael Cheney, and many, many others.

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Who Is Igor Kheifets

Igor Kheifets is the 3rd highest-earning super-affiliate in the internet marketing niche.

Igor’s 2-step system has helped him consistently rank as the highest-earning and the highest-converting (measured in commissions earned per click) for industry’s leading vendors including but not limited to Matt Bacak, John Crestani and Anthony Morrison.

Igor boiled down success in affiliate marketing to a set of predictable easy steps anyone can take to generate commissions.


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