The Problem With The Self Help Industry

Welcome back to the list building lifestyle. I’m your host, Igor Kheifets. In this short episode, I got a toothpick, with the self-help industry with every aspect of this game with the How to Make Money industry with the How to Lose Weight industry with how to have a better relationship industry and pretty much every other aspect. And the beef that I got with pretty much every single guru in the game. What they sell is productivity advice, relationship advice, you know, advice to lose weight, or build muscle or anything else. We all sell fast solutions to complicated problems. And that’s just wrong. That’s not how life works. So I go deep into what I feel is a huge issue with the self-help industry, and exactly how I feel we should approach our problems and seek to improve our lives. I’m Igor Kheifets. And this is the list building lifestyle. The podcast for anyone who wants to build a wildly profitable email list working from home. If you’d like to make six figures travel the world and help people improve their lives in the process. This podcast is for you. I also invite you to claim a free copy of my bestselling book, the list building lifestyle Confessions of an email millionaire at www.igorsbook.com. Get the free book plus $3,000 Bonus packages including my best capture page templates, email swipe files, and traffic blueprints, visit www.igorsbook.com for details. And now it’s time to claim your list building lifestyle.

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So here’s what I have to say to people who are frustrated because they’re not getting the results that they wanted in the timeframe that they want it. First off, there’s the whole issue of expectations. For the most part, people said, really bad expectations, they’re completely off when it comes to the realistic timeframes that it takes to achieve any measurable success, especially if they’re just starting out. You see the problem with this self-help industry that, of course, includes the industry of teaching people how to market products on the internet, which I belong to. And I do believe that I’m a part of the problem here and not a part of the solution. And you know, I can feel righteous talking about it on my podcast, of course. But it doesn’t change the fact that, you know, the self-help industry sells fast solutions to complicated problems. Nobody wants to buy a complicated solution to a complicated problem. Nobody wants to hear the truth. And nobody wants to basically be told, hey, look, if you want to become a better human being, and have a healthy relationship with your spouse, there’s a lot of personal development work you’ll have to do in yourself. And that will take you a while, that will take you a couple of years. Now nobody wants to hear that. Instead, what people want to hear is, hey, here’s a magic phrase that you can say to your spouse that will make your spouse absolutely head over heels in love with you? And to never leave your side. That’s what people want. And that’s what people buy like this. Another example is the weight loss industry and the weight loss industry. As much as people talk about wanting to lose weight, what they really want is a magic pill. And we see the supplement industry being as big as it is for that very reason. But even when it comes to courses, people don’t want you to tell them to count calories and go to the gym, which is really the only sustainable way. Anyone can lose weight. Like you don’t have to go to the gym to lose weight, you can just count the calories. But you still have to do some, you know, we have to inject some discipline into your day to day routine. People don’t want to hear that. Instead, they want to hear that they can continue eating what they want. And to lose weight. So you can tell somebody, look, if you want to lose weight. If you want to lose weight, you shouldn’t go to McDonald’s, because fast food is bad for you, right? They want you to tell them, hey, you can keep going to McDonald’s. Just make sure to stay away from this product and this product and get a diet soda instead of a sugar soda. And you know, don’t put so much ketchup on the bun instead, you know, use half the size of the catchup package. So, you see it will help them sure but it’s not a sustainable and fundamentally correct way to achieve that outcome. But that’s what people want. For a very long time now people have focused on field good stuff rather than on the realistic real world stuff. And I think it’s the realists that get you know, get ahead in life these days, because they’re not deluded. By the idea of super-fast and easy success, and again, I really want to, I want to add to it that I am a part of the problem. Because in order for me to even exist in the niche where I exist, I have to go out and I have to sell easy solutions. Now, this is where that famous phrase comes into play, sell them what they want, and give them what they need. And that’s been my whole dilemma over the years of coaching people well over 10 years at this point, you know, and I’ve started realizing that when I was really, really young, they’re at the age of 2524. And that is, you know, you get people into a training program. You know, making an emphasis on the outcome on the ideal outcome. But once they’re in, in order to keep them motivated, in order to keep them going, you have to start injecting some, some realism into it, right? So we all love the idea of, you know, having the best relationship, or being able to lose weight very quickly, or being able to make money very quickly. But, before that can happen, you have to lay a foundation in place. I remember back in the day, when I was just getting going, I think the quote that really molded my perception of what this needs to be of how the whole success thing works, was a quote by Eben Pagan, who I still consider to be one of the most influential people in my development. And he was saying that you have to treat your business like a bamboo tree. The difference between a bamboo tree and a regular tree is that a regular tree as soon as it’s planted starts adding a couple of centimeters a year to its growth, while a bamboo tree for four or five years doesn’t go above ground at all. It spends all its time building that foundation. But as soon as you know, after five years or so, again, I might be getting the exact number of years wrong here. But the concept is true. As soon as that stage is over what that tree does, the bamboo tree starts adding like eight or 10 or whatever centimeters a year while the regulatory continues to add one or two a year. So this is to say that if you spend enough time and effort and energy and resources on building the right foundation, even if you don’t see the results right away, right, you’re kind of building your roots, if you will, it’s underground, you will then see how your business quickly shoots up, like a bamboo tree and becomes powerful, really, really fast. This is what happened to me. You know, for three years, I had nothing going on. I was trying this and I was trying all kinds of techniques, I was a diehard shiny object seeker. But then once I hit my stride, I went from making my first dollar to making $10,000 in the span of a month, in just six months, which was already about 10 times more than I used to make in my day job. And then by the end of that year, I scaled to 20k per month. Now over the course of the next year, I scaled to 80k per month. And I haven’t been making less than that per month ever since. And I believe that is true only because I spend the time building my foundation. So you really have to get your expectations right. But it’s also really, really hard to do. If you’re reading books, and watching courses and attending webinars and watching, especially if you’re going social media. This is the one place I really hate to go. Like I actually removed the Facebook app from my phone, and I blocked Facebook, on my computer. If I need to go on Facebook, for whatever reason, I actually have to use a different browser than my usual one. And that’s because you go on Facebook, and you feel like the world’s biggest loser and an idiot. That’s how I feel when I go on Facebook because I scroll through my feet. And everyone’s, you know, chisel six-pack lives in this giant mansion of a house and drives an amazing car that makes a ton of money. And I’m super happy. Like you go on Facebook, and you think that everyone is highly successful and happy all the time. Now we know life doesn’t work that way. We know that even if you’re successful doesn’t mean you’re going to be happy all the time. In fact, you can be happy all the time. And the pursuit of happiness itself actually pushes the happiness away. So, you know, you really have to be careful about what you choose to consume and the ideas you choose to take on because the price you’ll pay may be extremely expensive in the form of misguided expectations that would make you believe that you’re not moving towards your goal when in reality you are. It’s just your perceived timeline is way off. Thank you for listening to The List Building lifestyle, get access to the previous episodes transcript of today’s show, as well as other exclusive content at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com. Also remember to claim your free copy of my bestselling book at www.igorsbook.com. It explains how we made millions with list building starting from scratch. Plus, I’ll give you $3,000 worth of free bonuses, including my best landing page templates, email, swipe files and traffic booklets. Go to www.igorsbook.com Now to claim your free package.