How I Unlearned Everything to Succeed

Entrepreneurship isn’t really about building a business, it’s about breaking yourself down first. I went in thinking I’d master marketing tactics and sales scripts, but the real work was confronting every excuse, victim mentality, and self-limiting belief I didn’t even know I was carrying. This episode is about how taking full ownership in business forces you to grow up fast, kills your ego, and exposes exactly why you’ve been plateauing. Because at the end of the day, the only real obstacle between you and your next level isn’t your strategy… it’s the person you’re still willing to be.

[0:22]
I’m Igor Kheifets, and this is The ListBuilding Lifestyle. The podcast is for anyone who wants to build a wildly profitable email list working from home. If you’d like to make six figures, travel the world and help people improve their lives in the process, this podcast is for you. I also invite you to claim a free copy of my best selling book, The List Building Lifestyle Confessions of an Email Millionaire at www.igorsbook.com
Get the free book plus $3,000 bonus package that includes my best capture page templates, email swipe files and traffic blueprints, visit www.igorsbook.com for details, And now it’s time to claim your List Building Lifestyle!

[1:14]
I think starting a business and succeeding in this business, really, I don’t think it changed me too much, but it taught me so many lessons, and it caused me to challenge many of my own beliefs, it caused me to challenge the person I wasn’t, it forced me into growth!

Your business will do that to you, and I think that’s one of the best ways anyone can truly grow as a person, because when you’re committed to growing your business, you will have to give up old habits, old beliefs, old habitual mechanisms, old behaviors, if you want to break through to the next level. Because if you don’t, you will always plateau, and oftentimes you won’t even be able to get the business off the ground.

[02:09]
For example, the whole victim mentality thing, you have to get rid of that, because if you don’t, you simply cannot grow a business. Because in your own business, you’re essentially relying on yourself. In your own business, everything that happens in that business is tied to your decision, your vision, the way you process information, the way you communicate and the way you make decisions every day. So, if you make decisions a certain way, you only end up with a certain result, and that’s going to be very straightforward.

And what I think many failing entrepreneurs do not realize is that for them to finally experience success with their business, they really have to challenge the beliefs and the habits that they have, that made them who they are and that kind of, have them end up in the place where they are today. Otherwise there’s no growth!

[3:16]
So, all the change that happened to me personally as a result of starting and running this business has been positive. I was fortunate enough, I think, to be young and moldable when I got into it, and I was able to simply study under the right mentors, whether by reading their books, listening to their seminars, working with them, one on one. And I’ve had a number of mentors. I’ve had at least a good two dozen of them, at any particular point in my life.

And a truly good mentor will basically challenge your belief system. If you’re working with somebody who agrees with you and who basically tells you the things that you want to hear, you’re wasting your time. There’s no growth if your mentor is telling you exactly what you want to hear!

[04:20]
The changes that happened to me as a person, as an entrepreneur, first off, I had to become solely responsible for all the outcomes in my business. That was like a fundamental and hardcore groundwork of a belief, where complaining about someone or something, whether the industry or a platform, or my email deliverability, or a team member that messed up the links, it simply did not help! Simply did not change my outcomes.

And so, at some point, I kind of went for the first couple of years complaining, but still acting as a responsible person, but just carrying a lot of baggage. These days, I complain less and carry less baggage, and just pretty much assume responsibility for everything that happens in my business.

[05:20]
And I think that’s a great practice for life too. Meaning like let’s say, I’ll give you a great example, so my daughter, when she first went into Bulgarian school, even though it’s an international school and everybody speaks English there, she did not like it.

And it took me a few weeks before I was able to find out, but it turns out that she was kind of bullied in school, like she couldn’t make any friends. Some kids were making fun of her for one reason or another. And she didn’t like going there! And she started acting like a victim, saying how it’s a terrible school, “I don’t want to go”, etc.

And once I got to the bottom of this, my first response was, “what a bunch of assholes those kids are! And what a bunch of assholes those teachers are that are not paying attention, that a new student is getting bullied!”

But then, one day, after joining the PTA, which was a conscious decision I made, I wanted to get more involved in the community there, because I felt it would be beneficial to both myself and my daughter. Basically, I got to spend a few hours in the school during a Halloween celebration. And I got to see my daughter interact with other kids. And this was a huge eye-opener to me, and a great reminder that we are, at the end of the day, responsible for everything that happens!

And it’s this, basically, she was acting a bit like an asshole to other kids! I literally saw a kid walk up to her standing next to her and actually talking to her, and she was dead ignoring the guy! I really felt it for the kid! I mean, if I was that kid, I’d feel like crap, I’d feel very insulted! If I would be talking to a girl and the girl would be paying attention to me when I’m like, right there!

And I brought this to my daughter’s attention, and I said, “Look,If that’s how you behave with your classmates, I can understand why they don’t like you, I wouldn’t like you either!” And so, what I’ve done is I actually started, I got her to read “How to Make Friends and Influence People”, a book I’ve recommended many times, a book that helped me when I was a teenager.

And, I don’t know if that changed her behavior in general, but now she’s got a few friends, she actually likes going to that school, she comes back, tells me all kinds of fun stories that happened there. So, I guess she became a little bit more relaxed and smiled more and became open to other people.

And that’s a great, I think, a great example. Because, I know parents who literally take their kids out of the school and go to a different school, only for the kid to re-experience the same bullying all over again.

But that, in my opinion, is a victim mentality, like if your kid gets bullied once, okay! Maybe not his fault. But if he’s being bullied two, three, five times in several different schools, he’s probably behaving in a certain way that makes other kids not like him! So, maybe it’s time to teach and educate your child how to be the kind of person that other kids want to hang out with. That would be a more proactive approach as a parent!

[9:14]
Now, in your business, you will find yourself in situations where your business will challenge you in the exact same way, and if you don’t take proactive approach towards the business you want to build, the kind of person you want to become, or should I say, the kind of person you need to become to achieve the outcomes, then you simply won’t achieve them!

[9:36]
Thank you for listening to The List Building Lifestyle, get access to the previous episodes, transcript of today’s show, as well as other exclusive content at www.listbuildinglifestyleshow.com. Also remember to claim your free copy of my best selling book at www.igorsbook.com. It explains how I made millions with list buildings starting from scratch, plus I’ll give you $3,000 worth of free bonuses, including my best landing page templates, email swipe files and traffic blueprints. Go to www.igorsbook.com, now to claim your free package!