5-Step Attraction Marketing System With Tyson Zahner

Igor: Hi, my name is Igor Kheifets and this is the List Building Lifestyle, the only podcast
which delivers cutting edge conversion strategies from the online trenches straight to
your earbuds. Download the transcript of today’s episode and all future episodes at
listbuilidnglifestylesshow.com. I also invite you to grab a free copy of “The Wealthy
List Builder’s Survival Guide” at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com/survival and now
once again it’s time to claim your List Building Lifestyle.

Welcome back to another issue of the List Building Lifestyle, with your host Igor Kheifets.
A lot of people talk about attraction marketing and I’ve noticed that ever since starting
out in this industry back in 2008. And the funny part is that the way I’ve been sold
attraction marketing since getting started, is that it’s sort of like this magical thing,
where you have people being attracted to you on an energetic level and they’re almost
magically coming to you in droves and wanting to give you money. Now what I’ve
discovered over the years is that attraction marketing is for the most part a big fat lie
and it doesn’t exist for most people. Even the people who say they use attraction
marketing, don’t really know how they’re doing it and often times they’re just
using paid advertising. They’re just not telling you about it. Now … But there
is something that I do believe about attraction marketing, that is that it’s a
game of positioning and correct behaviors. This is basically a certain way you
behave in order to attract other people into your life in order to become
attractive to people you would like to have as your clients. And today, my guest
is a true attraction marketing expert. It’s someone who has failed, consistently
failed in network marketing for 18 long years until the point when he discovered
attraction marketing in its true form. So today’s episode’s gonna be all about how
you can become more attractive to the people you’d like to work with and how you
can position yourself in a way that makes other people look at you and say, “I’d
like to work with that person.” So my guest today is Tyson Zahner. Tyson, thank
you so much for making it today.

Tyson Zahner: Thank you for having me Igor. Appreciate it.

Igor Kheifets: And did I pronounce your last name right by the way, because I’m
sure I butchered it?

Tyson Zahner: No, you did it perfectly and I’m sure with a last name like
Kheifets-

Igor Kheifets: Yes.

Tyson Zahner: You probably get yours butchered all the time.

Igor Kheifets: Yes, that’s why I’m so sensitive about it. So anyway Tyson, before
we dive into the principles and the core of attraction marketing, I’d love it if
you could share your story with us and just share exactly how you ended up
discovering attraction marketing for yourself.

Tyson Zahner: Yeah, I’d be happy to. So I had been in and out of the network
marketing industry for … gosh, 18 years in and out of different companies. I
mean I wasn’t constantly doing it, but I’d join a company, and I tried the …
kinda the traditional belly to belly methods that are kind of taught in that
industry, which is go talk to your friends and family, invite them to a
presentation, draw a bunch of circles on napkins over dinner and whatever. It just
didn’t really fit with my personality, but I kept coming back to that industry
’cause I liked the idea of residual income, I liked the idea of building a
business from a low start up cost. And there was a lot that was attractive, but
the methods of building that business in many ways were really designed for
extroverted people. The kind of people who love striking up conversations in the
grocery store check out line and that just wasn’t me. And so after I finally
joined my third company and failed for the third time over a period of 18 years, I
just said, “All right. I either have to get out of this and find a different type
of business model, or I need to find a different method that fits better with my
personality.” And that was when I was doing a search late one night online and
looking for some alternative ways to build a business using the internet, and I
discovered this … basically what was described as being attraction marketing.
How to get people to come to you so that you can become the hunted instead of
hunting people around. And I won’t say that it was an immediate success, but I
definitely enjoyed the process and within about six months of kinda trial and
error, figuring it out, within six months I was getting a very consistent flow of
leads and prospects reaching out to me. And within about a year to 18 months, I
had created a six figure income and have gone on to become three time top earner.
I’ve generated tens of thousands of leads online through attraction marketing and
done well over a million dollars in sales of my own products using attraction
marketing principles as well. So it’s definitely … It was definitely a game
changer for me.

Igor Kheifets: Interesting. So you’re saying that attraction marketing has
completely changed the path that you were on because until then, before you
discovered these principles, you were quite literally falling flat on your face
every single time you joined a company.

Tyson Zahner: Absolutely. Absolutely correct.

Igor Kheifets: So in that, I guess the question we’re all wondering is that how do
you go from standing start to attracting your first lead using attraction
marketing?

Tyson Zahner: Yeah, that’s a great question. So I … Really what the heart of
attraction marketing is about, it’s about providing value becoming an attractive
person and really the big … What I discovered, the big secret that all of these
top earners knew that I didn’t know, was that top earners were out there promoting
themselves and their knowledge and their skills and their abilities first before
they were promoting their product and their opportunity. And so what I was
constantly doing previously was, “Hey, let me show you our great company. Let me
show you our great opportunity. Let me show you our amazing compensation plan.”
And it was all about my thing and one of my mentors taught me a very, very
important lesson, which is there’s a big difference between marketing and selling
and the difference … the main difference is this, selling is all about your
thing, marketing is about your prospect So in other words, selling is about your
product. So if I’m talking about my weight loss product and what the ingredients
are and why it’s better than my competitors, I’m selling and nobody likes to be
sold. Marketing on the other hand is about your prospect and not about your
product. So if I’m marketing, I’m talking to my prospect about what his pains and
problems and goals and desires are. I’m giving him genuinely helpful information,
not only to attract him to me but to build trust, to build rapport so that he
says, “Wow, I really like that guy and I would like to do business with him
specifically.”, and that was the big shift for me. Instead of being a guy who was
simply pedaling products, I said, “Why don’t I go out and just genuinely help
people and start putting out valuable information and valuable content.” And
that’s when really everything changed and people started to become attracted to me
and I’ve got really five things that whether you’re trying to attract people for
your business or you’re trying to people for relationships, or be more attractive
at work. Really these five principles will work for any one of those and we can
talk about those and we can talk about those throughout the rest of the interview
if you’d like to pursue that further.

Igor Kheifets: Yeah, absolutely. I’m down for chatting about anything that can be
applied by a complete and total newbie. So yeah, my question is … these
principles, can someone who’s brand new, who’s got no proof, no credibility, no
social presence, no big shot testimonials right, no income proof … Somebody like
that, can they apply these principles to their business right now and expect to
see some sort of positive reinforcement from these actions?

Tyson Zahner: Yes, absolutely. So … And the reason I know that is because I was
the … In fact, I would argue that I had negative credibility-

Igor Kheifets: Yeah.

Tyson Zahner: And one of the things about doing this online is that I got to a
point with my friends and family with the traditional methods, by the time I had
joined my third company, like people were … My friends and family were like, “Oh
my God Tyson, seriously you’re in another one of those things? How many of these
are you gonna join?” In fact, I even had people saying to me things like, “Oh my
God Tyson, you’re in another one? How long is this one gonna last before you quit
and you give it up?” And so what was great about going online was nobody knew my
history, nobody knew how many things I had joined and failed at and so … Not
that I tried to pretend that I was someone that I wasn’t, I didn’t go out acting
like I had great results and in fact, here’s where a lot of people make the
mistake. Igor, a lot of people think I need to take pictures in front of fancy
cars or I need to take pictures in front of big houses to put off this air that
I’m successful. And in my experience and in my opinion, that kind of [hype-y
00:09:38] message, actually makes people more skeptical of you. And so I didn’t go
out and do the opposite either, I didn’t go out and say, “Hey guys, I failed in
three companies and I’m a loser and I’m not making any money.” But I also didn’t
talk about … I didn’t talk about my failures until I had started having some
successes. Instead, what I did was, I started simply sharing some … And really
my entire business … Here’s how you do it, for those of you out there going,
“Okay, this is great Tyson that you say we can do it, but how?” Here’s the how.
It’s a simple three step formula that this is how I built my business when I first
got online, when nobody knew who I was, when I didn’t even know what the hell an
autoresponder was. I did it with a very simple three step process that I have come
to call the S-3 formula. It is study, share, suggest. Right? So if attracting
people to you is all about providing value to other people, the first thing you
have to ask yourself is, “How can I provide value to others if don’t possess it
myself?” Right? I can’t give to someone that which I don’t already own or have. So
if you don’t have a skill or a special set of knowledge, then what you do is you
go out and acquire it. So like if you’re listening to this podcast right now,
you’re acquiring skills. You’re studying and investing in yourself simply by
listening to this podcast and so right now you’re doing part one of the formula,
study. Right? Step two, you share something that you’ve learned. You don’t have to
pretend that you came up with it. This is what I did, I went out and I said, “Hey
guys, I was just on this great webinar by so and so, and I learned a really great
tip about how to solve XYZ problem. I think you’re really gonna like it, I’ll
share with you two of tips I got out of that webinar or out of a book I was
reading or a podcast I attended or whatever. I’m gonna share with you a few tips.”
So I share something I’ve learned and then I suggest what they should do next.
Right? And because I’ve built rapport with them and I’ve given them some value,
they’re now much more likely to take the next step that I ask them to take. And
the big mistake I see people making, is they think the next step needs to be,
“Hey, buy my product.” In some cases that might be the right answer, but often
times if buying your product or joining your company is like a commitment, “Hey,
give me $300.00 and let’s go into business together.” That’s a big commitment, a
little bit more than really what you can ask from just, “Hey, I’ve just given you
a free five minute or ten minute video with some free content. Why don’t we go
into business and you give me $300.00?” It doesn’t really work that way. So tell
people make sure that the suggestion of what they should do next is baby steps.
Right? I don’t go to the bar and meet a new girl and ask her to marry me the first
time we meet. Right? I take baby steps, let’s get her number, let’s go out on a
first date, let’s go on a second date, let’s meet her parents and eventually it
builds to the point where we move in or we get married or we have kids, whatever.
The same thing is true for getting people to buy your product or join your
business opportunity if you are looking for someone to make a big commitment. Now
… And I’ve done both. I’ve done it with smaller opportunities where it was like
here’s a free trial of a thing and that worked well being my first step for my
suggest. I studied, I shared some tips and then I said, “Hey, here’s a product
that I think you might enjoy. You could take a free trial.” That was a simple baby
step for them to take and so I suggested that. But then I was also in an
opportunity where like to join was a $300.00 sign up fee. That was a good suggest,
here’s the next step you should take. So what I did there instead was … I said,
“Hey, why don’t you attend a free webinar if you enjoyed this little five minute
blog post or five minute video. I’ve got some more training for you in a free hour
long web class. You can join me over here and I’ll teach you XY and Z.” And at the
end of that, I then pitched them on the $300.00, $400.00, $500.00 thing, which
might’ve been a bit bigger commitment. So study, share, suggest is how I have
built my entire business and I did it starting when nobody knew who I was, when I
had no credibility. In fact, I even had the opposite of credibility because I had
failed so much. Does that answer the question for you, Igor?

Igor Kheifets: Yeah, absolutely. There’s only one thing I disagree with and that
is I just walk up to women and I’m like, “Will you have sex with me?” If they
don’t say yes, I don’t date them. That’s how I am.

Tyson Zahner: Nice.

Igor Kheifets: Yeah, but I completely agree with you. In fact, I’ve used the exact
same analogy in one of the previous episodes, somewhere around the 20 episode mark
last year where a lot of people, they literally come up to the prospect. And when
I say come up I mean like approach them digitally and they say, “Let’s get married
right now. Let’s get a commitment going, let’s move in together.”

Tyson Zahner: Yeah.

Igor Kheifets: When the reality is nobody, especially today and see if this is
something you agree or disagree with, Tyson. Like today people are so picky about
everything, like where they invest their time, like where they buy like … I know
people that literally go and buy milk in this store and then drive five miles west
to buy cookies in another store because they save half a dollar or something like
that, like there’s people like that who do that. So people are extremely picky
today because of the over abundance of choice that they have and noise.

Tyson Zahner: Yeah, agree.

Igor Kheifets: The other part is noise. Noise is just … gets people to delay
their buying decisions, it gets them to doubt themselves, it gets them to doubt
us, the people who promote something or market something. I mean it’s just crazy.

Tyson Zahner: Yep. Agreed.

Igor Kheifets: Crazy. So let’s get to the five things then. Right?

Tyson Zahner: Sure.

Igor Kheifets: The five steps to become attractive to potential clients.

Tyson Zahner: Yep. So if you want to be attractive in any area of your life, I’ve
really boiled it down to the five secrets or the five things that I have done,
that I believe have made me attractive to prospects. I believe that my wife
married me because a lot of these things. Whenever I did still have a job, these
were things that I could do in my job to make people more attractive to me. So
these are things that you can apply in any area of your life and so I think that
this is gonna be one of the most valuable things that you can guys can walk away
with. So I would encourage you all to write these five things down. Tip number one
to make people more attractive to you is this, attractive people are more
interested in the other person they’re with, than they are in themselves. Right?
They’re more interested in other people than they are in themselves and we’ll go
back to the dating analogy. If you go out on a date and all you ever do is talk
about yourself through the whole date and why you’re amazing and what you’re into,
and you never ask any questions and listen to the other person about what they’re
interested in, you come off as not a very attractive person. A lot of times that
first date, they kinda feel like, “I don’t know. That date didn’t really go well.
I don’t wanna go on a second date.” Well same thing is true online. If all you’re
ever doing is talking about your product, it goes back to the difference between
marketing and selling. Marketing is all about your prospect, whereas selling is
about your product. If all you’re ever doing is talking about you and your company
and your product, that’s not a very attractive thing. But if you’re talking to
other people about them and you’re genuinely interested in them and their problems
and their goals and their desires, that’s gonna make you a much more attractive
person. So tip number one, be more attractive … be more interested in the other
person than they are in themselves. Anything you want me to expand on there before
I go on to number two, Igor?

Igor Kheifets: Yeah. I know you told us this great story about exactly how to be
more interested, because one thing is to just say be more interested …
interested in other people. But what I find is that a lot of people cannot hold a
conversation, they can’t really conduct a conversation that’s all about the other
person. So perhaps you can give us a few tips as far as how do we remain
interested in the other person, but at the same time we don’t become too needy
about it, or maybe we don’t become too boring? You know what I mean?

Tyson Zahner: Yeah, absolutely. Okay, the answer to that question is so stupid
simple and I’ll even tell you guys a story to illustrate how simple it is. All you
have to do is get good at asking the right questions. If you ask questions and
then simply listen and here’s the story that illustrates this. There’s a very,
very well known direct response marketer, a legend really in the direct response
marketing world named J. Abraham. And J. Abraham, he’s spoken at events all over
the country and he’s traveled the speaking circuit and he tells a story about one
time that he was … he had gotten done speaking at an event and he was just wiped
out. And he went down to the bar after the event, and he sat down and this guy
comes up, sits next to him and he was just like, “Oh my God, I’m just too worn out
to try and strike up a conversation and start talking to this guy and telling him
what I do.” So he simply just asked the guy a question and then he just sat and
listened for the longest time. Right? The guy just went on talking, talking,
talking about himself because we all know that almost everybody’s favorite topic
to talk about is themselves. So J just let this guy talk about himself and then
the guy got done talking about one thing and J would simply just ask him another
question and say, “Oh okay, well that’s interesting. Tell me about this?” And then
the guy would go on, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. So it took J one question, 10
seconds and the guy would go on for minutes. Right? And then he’d ask another
question, the guy would go on for minutes. And finally at the end of the night,
they were getting into the elevator and this guy said … He said, “You know what?
You are one of the most interesting people I have ever met.” And J. Abraham was
like, “What in the world are you talking … I didn’t even talk about myself.” And
that’s when it hit him. He said, “The way that you become interesting to other
people is to be interested in other people. And they will see you as being
attractive and interesting simply because you’re more interested in them than you
are in yourself.” So the tip there is just ask questions about other people and
not only is it a great way to make yourself more attractive to other people, it’s
a great way for you to come up with … If you’re gonna do any kind of your own
content, which is what I did when first started out, it’s a great way for you to
get content ideas. You know I tell people … They’re like, “What do I talk about
if I’m gonna do a video or I’m gonna create a podcast or I’m gonna do a blog post
or whatever? What do I talk about?” Well simply ask your prospects what they’ve
got going in their life. “Hey, what are you interested in? What are you struggling
with? What problems are you facing? What’s the biggest issue that you’re … is
keeping you awake at night? What would you like to achieve in whatever area of
your life that your niche or your business is in?” And all of those questions that
you ask, not only does it make you more interested in them, which makes you
attractive, it also gives you fodder for your advertising and for your content, so
that you can talk to them about what they’re genuinely interested in. Does that
answer that for you, Igor?

Igor Kheifets: Absolutely but again, like one thing I wanna specify about your
advice, which is just ask them questions about what they got going on, for you to
ask really good specific open ended questions. So your questions should begin with
how, when, what. But they shouldn’t begin with say do, can. Right? Because those
are closed circuit questions, those are the questions that get the [inaudible
00:21:27]. I’m sorry, not the prospect but the person … any person to answer
with a yes or no, and stuff like that. But what you want is to give room for your
… Again, what do you call it? Like conversation partner, you wanna give them
room to just expand on things and you want it to feel natural and not sort of
creepy and obnoxious. So make you use open questions such as how, when, what, et
cetera rather than closed circuit questions like can, do and stuff like that. So
the principle number one is to become attractive, you need to be more interested
in other people rather than be interesting to them. So whenever you feel like you
need to be more interesting, this is the red flag, you go back and you start
putting more focus on the other person. So what’s principle number two?

Tyson Zahner: Principle number two and you kinda hinted at it a moment ago Igor,
is not being needy and not being clingy. Okay? And there’s saying that many of you
maybe have heard before, that if you have a relationship between two people, he
who cares the least has the most power between the two in that interaction or in
that relationship, and I’m kinda giving you some examples. So if you are … Like
let’s say that I had joined a business opportunity. Okay, I’ll just use this as an
example. And let’s say that I wanted my friend to look at it, and I go over to him
and I say, “Hey man, you know what? I texted you and you didn’t text me back. Why
didn’t you text me back?” Or I’m like, “Why don’t you watch my thing? Like I
helped you move man, you owe it to me.” Well that comes off as being needy. It
comes off as being clingy. I mean we all know the like needy boyfriend who texts
his girlfriend and then he gets angry when she doesn’t text him back three seconds
later. That’s a very unattractive quality. And so if you can come off to your
prospects as if, “Look, I’m gonna succeed with or without you. I could take it or
leave it.” In fact, if you come to your prospects with an attitude of, “Look you
need me and my product and my knowledge and my skills and my expertise more than I
need you.” Right? “Hey look, I am the gateway to solving your problems. So you
need me more than I need you because there are hundreds of thousands, millions of
other prospects out there, that if you’re not interested, I simply move on to the
next one.” But must people have this lead scarcity type of mindset, “Oh my God,
one person said no. What am I gonna do?” And then they go crying in a corner
forever. It’s a very needy, it’s a very clingy type of attitude and it’s a very
unattractive quality. But when you can take … And this is why many of you, if
you’ve ever been involved in sales, you’ve heard of the takeaway technique. It’s a
powerful technique where it’s like look … If you’re talking to a prospect and
they’re on the fence and you’re like, “Look, you know what? I really just don’t
think this is a fit for you. So I’m gonna pull this offer off the table.” The
minute you do that, you are now more attractive. They want it more. So just
remember, if you are overly needy, overly clingy, if you’re really wanting
somebody to look at your thing and you need them to look at it more than they feel
like they need you, not only is it not going to work well for you, not only is the
positioning terrible, it’s just gonna make you look a lot less attractive and
that’s not gonna be very effective to your end goal.

Igor Kheifets: Yeah, definitely. Neediness is a major turnoff. I mean you can just
as easily smother really smelly poo on yourself and that’s how quickly we repel
people if you’re a needy person. Now unfortunately a lot of people who are needy
don’t even realize they are-

Tyson Zahner: True.

Igor Kheifets: And it’s so down to their core that it takes them awhile to change.
Now I don’t wanna sound like I’m talking from some sort of pedestal about it
because I used to be the most … the neediest person ever. Like I actually sent
… When I was dating or trying to date, I never got to date, I actually sent
flowers to somebody from 50 miles away. You know, just to impress her?

Tyson Zahner: Yeah.

Igor Kheifets: And she was like, “Oh, that’s so nice of you. Thank you.”, and I
got a kiss on the cheek. And then later that day I caught her making out with this
other dude that was actually married and his wife worked in the same facility and
she was also pregnant with their child.

Tyson Zahner: Oh my gosh.

Igor Kheifets: Like it was just crazy, crazy.

Tyson Zahner: Yeah, wow.

Igor Kheifets: So don’t ever be needy. I learned that mistake the hard way but it
really helped me to internalize the lesson and then use it when I became an online
marketer. So-

Tyson Zahner: Yeah.

Igor Kheifets: Don’t be needy. We’re ready to move on to number three.

Tyson Zahner: Sure. So number three, it’s kinda related to number two but it’s
slightly different, so I put it in its own category and it’s not having a hidden
agenda. And I see this a lot with home business owners who do approach people
online, whether they’re doing it through social media or whatever and they’ll
reach out to somebody acting like … Like they might reach out to an old friend.
Right? And like, “Oh my God, how are you doing? I haven’t seen you in so long.”
And within two minutes the conversation turns into, “Hey, by the way I’ve got this
thing you should look at.” And then instantly they’re like, “Oh. So you didn’t
really wanna reach out to me to catch up at all. You had this thing. You had a
hidden agenda.” And I’ll give you another good example. I happen to have somebody
in my life who the only reason she … Like she’ll give gifts to my kids, the only
reason she’ll do it is it’s not so much because she wants to give a gift, but
she’s looking for the reaction that she’ll get back. Right? She’ll do something
nice for someone simply because she wants them to recognize her on Facebook and
say, “Oh my God, thank you so much for doing this wonderful thing for us.” Or take
pictures of the gifts and put them on Facebook and say, “So and so did this for
us.” There’s this hidden agenda, whether she recognizes it or not, she has this
internal need … Once again, it’s kinda being needy, where she needs something in
return, as opposed to, “Look, I just want to do something cool for you because I
just wanna do something cool.” And this is one of the biggest secrets, once I
stopped worrying so much about the money and I just started genuinely being
interested in helping other people and putting out valuable information on the
internet, that’s when the money started to show up. It was like once I stopped
worrying so much about the money and having a hidden agenda like, “Hey, I’m
putting out this …” Like I’m doing this podcast with Igor simply because he
asked me to and I respect him and I respect what he’s built and it’s … Yeah, I
mean it’s great if I get some extra exposure but that’s not why I’m doing it.
There’s absolutely no hidden agenda here. For me it’s just, “Look, I wanna do
something cool.” But if I came on here and I was like, “All right, Igor. I’ll do
your podcast but you have to do this, this and this for me in exchange.” It’s a
very unattractive quality back. So don’t have a hidden agenda. Just genuinely help
people and you will be amazed at what happens in turning your business around.

Igor Kheifets: That’s interesting because I had a hidden agenda for this podcast
episode, actually I wanted you to do all of the work for me because I ran out of
stuff to say. All right, but I get what you’re saying and it’s definitely … I
mean it’s a really bad quality. It does relate to the neediness and you really
wanting that outcome and kinda willing to show up a certain way in someone’s life
in order to achieve it and I agree that we’re … I mean it really goes back in my
opinion to people not wanting to be sold, something you mentioned earlier today.

Tyson Zahner: Yeah. Well … And listen, here’s the other thing, it doesn’t mean
you can’t have an agenda. It’s just you’ll be much more attractive to people if
you’re simply open about it. In fact, just before we got on this podcast, about an
hour ago I did a Facebook live and I was inviting people on that Facebook live to
my webinar and … So I’ve got like a free web class that they can attend and
during that Facebook live I told them … I said, “Look, when you attend this web
class I’ve got a product that I’m gonna offer you at the end.” Like I wasn’t
trying to hide my agenda and I was simply up front and I said, “Hey guys, think of
my free web class kinda like free samples at Costco. It’s like if you like the
free sample, you might wanna buy the whole box. If it’s not a fit for you, that’s
totally cool. I hope you love the sample and I hope you got some great value.” So
the fact that … It’s okay to have an agenda, it’s just when people find out that
there was like a hidden ulterior motive behind everything that you were doing, it
makes you less attractive. And so by me being up front and saying, “Hey, look when
you get on my web class, I’m gonna offer to sell you something.” Here’s why I’m
doing it. I’m being very clear and upfront with them, not only does it make the
people who actually attend my web class much more qualified and likely to buy, it
makes me much more attractive in the process.

Igor Kheifets: Yeah. That’s actually a pretty good strategy. Whenever you’re not
sure whether or not you’re coming across as needy or obnoxious or sort of weird
looking when it comes to getting something from the other person, the best thing
to do is just say it upfront. If you’re approaching somebody with a business
proposition, and you really don’t wanna sound like you’re pushing them into it,
the best thing you can do is just say, “Hey Bob, I have this great idea for a
joint venture and feel free to say this is not a good fit but here’s what I’m
thinking.” And so by doing that, you’re basically just getting rid of all the
pressure, because you are giving them permission to easily just say no, and they
won’t feel pressured when you ask the question.

Tyson Zahner: Yep. Agreed.

Igor Kheifets: Cool. So number three is try not to be so obvious about your
agenda, have an agenda. If the agenda is obvious and you can’t hid it, just go
ahead and state it upfront that this is my agenda and this is why I’m doing it
because that gives you way more power when it comes to convincing someone to work
with you.

Tyson Zahner: Yep.

Igor Kheifets: Sweet. So what’s up next?

Tyson Zahner: All right. Number four is … And this is one that a lot of people
wince at a little bit when I say it because they think, “How can I have that until
I have success?” And so number four is confidence. Having confidence makes you
more attractive period and we can go to the dating world. Let’s say you got two
guys. One of them is … Now remember, there’s a difference between confidence and
cockiness. Right? Cockiness, if you got a guy who’s like full of himself and he’s
at the bar thinking he’s all badass and … he’s way better than all the guys. No,
that’s attractive, but somebody who feels confident in his skills, in his ability,
in his knowledge, he feels comfortable in his own skin, that is a much more
attractive person to the outside world, than the person who is kind of shy or
timid, or I’m not so sure. And so I guess my point would be a couple of things
here. Number one, have confidence in what it is that you’re offering. Right?
That’s the very first thing and I see a lot of people who join opportunities
simply because they thought it was a great opportunity. “Oh so and so told me that
… man Bitcoin is where it’s at right now. I gotta get into Bitcoin because
that’s where the money’s at.” But they’re not sold themselves yet on whether or
not Bitcoin was a good investment or good opportunity and I’m not … This is not
about Bitcoin at all, I’m not in that. Honestly, I don’t even know anything …
enough about Bitcoin to speak intelligently. But because I know it’s a hot topic,
I’m just using that as an example. And what happens is, you got this … Or let’s
do another example. Let’s say that you’ve got some sort of weight loss product and
you’re like, “Man, all right everybody wants to lose weight. So I joined this like
health and wellness company and I’m gonna start trying to build my business with
this thing.” But you haven’t tried the product yet, so you don’t have any
confidence in the product and that it works. Well you’re gonna have a hard time
… Guys sales is nothing more than transfer of belief from one person to another.
So how can you transfer your belief in what you’re offering to another person if
you don’t yet have that belief? So you need to build that confidence and that
belief, and I’m not saying you should fake it. Right? I’m saying build a genuine
confidence in what you’ve got and walk with your head high. Now the big issue here
is where a lot of people are like, “Okay, that’s great but what if I’m promoting
like a business opportunity or … and I haven’t made a lot of money yet. How can
I have confidence knowing that this works?” So there’s a few tips that I would
give to you there. My first one would be hang around with other people who have
stories that inspire you. Right? Whether if your company has events that you can
go to or you can get into Facebook groups and hang around other people where their
stories inspire you to have confidence in what it is that you’re promoting. But
it’s not just confidence in the thing. It’s also confidence in you, in yourself,
because people don’t buy a product. They buy from a person. They don’t join
companies, they join people. Like I said earlier at the beginning of this podcast,
top earners, this is why they promote themselves and their skills and their
ability before they promote their thing. Because they recognize people join them
because they’re attracted to them and their confidence and their skills, their
ability to help them and all of that stuff. And so one of the best pieces of
advice I’ve ever gotten was from a book by T. Harv Eker, I believe that’s where I
first heard this concept. It was the concept of be, do, have versus have, do, be.
Let me explain what I mean. So most people think, “I have to have success first
and then I can do the things that successful people do and then I’ll be
successful. But I have to have those things first.” And so what happens is they
think, “Okay, I have to have money, I have to have the cars, I have to have the
big house before I can start doing confident things and showing that I’m
confident, and then I’ll be confident and successful.” No. Instead, flip the
script. It’s be, do, have. You have to go out and say, “Okay, I’m gonna be a
confident person. I’m going to do as if I already had the money, as if I already
had the success, as if I already had a big team or a big bank account. I’m going
to behave confidently and I will do the things that successful people do.” And all
of a sudden, the things that you aspire to will start showing up in your life. And
so … And really this is a good segue into the fifth way that you make yourself
attractive to other people, because it ties great … It ties really perfectly
into how you create more confidence. The best way for you to create more
confidence, is for you to develop skills and talents and abilities, and so that’s
tip number five. Tip number four just to recap was develop a level of confidence.
Have confidence, not only in your product and what you’re offering but also in
yourself and in your ability to help people. And one of the best ways that you do
that is tip number five to make you more attractive to people, which is have
skills, have some talents, have some sort of ability. I mean how many of you guys
have ever thought … How many of you guys have ever seen some of these rock stars
that land … You know like these super models and you’re like, “How the hell did
like …” Like back in the 90’s, like Richie Sambora, you know what I mean? He’s
not like the best looking dude ever. But he landed like Heather Locklear, he
landed like these actresses and super models. You look at guys like … Like a
good example, Dave Matthews. Back in the 90’s my wife and I were big fans of Dave
Matthews and I never really thought he was that a good looking dude, but my wife
is like, “Man, there’s something about this guy. He’s got this like ability, he’s
talented, he sings on stage. [inaudible 00:37:56] something attractive about
that.” Ed Sheeran, he’s another dude who like today I don’t think he’s like the
most attractive dude, but like girls [inaudible 00:38:02]. You don’t have to just
do that with being a musician or having some sort of talent in the area of music
or art or whatever. You can have some sort of skill or talent or ability in the
way of, “All right. Look, I know how to drive traffic. So when you join my team,
I’m gonna show you how to run solo ads.” And that makes you attractive to those
other people because okay, before this guy was just some dude who was in a company
and he was just pedaling his thing. But now, this is a guy who knows how to run
solo ads, so he can either show me how to run solo ads or he can start up a
traffic co-op and he can take care of running the ads and I’ll pay him to get me
traffic. You now have become the link to their success because of your skills and
your ability. And so when you can start promoting not just what your thing is, but
what skills and talent and ability you have to help other people, that will make
you incredibly attractive and much more likely to have people wanna join you. And
what happens is, the better you get at those skills, the more confidence you’re
gonna have and it’s like this never ending circle of being more attractive. The
more skills you get, the more confident you become. The more confident you get,
the more you can talk about your skills and the more attracted people are gonna be
to you, the more they’re gonna join you, then you’re gonna have even more
confidence. You’re gonna get more results and say, “Hey, look I’ve gotten these
results.” And it’s like this never ending circle of attractiveness. So those are
my last two tips. I’ve kind of put them into one, big talking point so we can
answer any questions we’ve got about that. But that’s pretty much all I’ve got,
Igor. What do you think?

Igor Kheifets: Sweet. Sweet. So let’s just quickly recap the whole five … the
list of five because I really wanna make sure our listeners are getting this. So
first off, there’s five ways to instantly become more attractive to other people,
both in the sexual way if you’re after that, and in the way where they would like
to become a part of your world and one of the ways to do that, is to work with you
and join your company or just be around you or buy your products, et cetera. So
number one is to become more attractive, become more interested in the people you
talk to, because that’s when people believe you’re an interesting person, is when
you take interest in them. It’s weird, but it’s true. That’s how human psychology
works. Number two, do not be needy. That will just repel people and you know it
from your own life experience. I’m sure you have needy people in your life who you
don’t like talking to, you don’t like hanging out. Like if there’s a person that’s
calling right now and you’re going like, “Oh, damn it.” That’s probably a needy
person right there. So don’t be needy. Okay, any needy behavior and you can
research this online, try to get rid of it and try not to show it, even if you’re
inherently a needy person by design, which I personally am. I have to hide a lot
of my flaws when I communicate with people in the real world just because it’s
easy for me to just come across as really, really needy. Now number three, not
having a hidden agenda. So don’t come across to people as someone who has an
agenda, but isn’t really talking about it but their actions show otherwise. Rather
… Either state your agenda upfront and proudly, okay, or try to behave in a way
that doesn’t show an agenda at all. That’s when you’ll see people like volunteer
their time, resources, money, energy, whatever to be with you. That’s truly
amazing, but that’s how it actually works. Like we wanna give our time and
attention and money to people who need it the least. This is crazy. Now number
four is confidence, by far the trickiest to gain when you’re just getting started
because you’re starting out with the approach, “I need to have before I can do,
before I can be somebody with confidence.” Right? Or a millionaire or whatever.
But the actual strategy here is to be then do and then have, which is to say
rather than believing, okay, that the fire should keep you warm first and then you
throw in some wood. You need to throw in some wood and only then the fire will
keep you warm, just to put it in the metaphor form. Now last but not least, is
promote yourself, your skills, your abilities first. Okay, your own value first
and only then when they ask, tell them about your company or opportunity or
product because at that point, you’re moving to the stage of selling, where you
talk about the product and not about the prospect. So Tyson, did I get these
right?

Tyson Zahner: You got them right. Perfect.

Igor Kheifets: Awesome. So at this point … at this point we got our SSS system,
3-S system down. We got our five step attractiveness blueprint down. So I’m
guessing there’s some people on this call right now who are wondering how can they
work with you, how can they study more about what you teach and how can they
basically become more attractive through your strategies. So where can they go to
find out more about you and your work?

Tyson Zahner: Sure, absolutely. So there’s a couple places you can go. You could
go over to my Facebook page, if you wanted to. I go live on there frequently,
giving tips and advice, free live …. Facebook’s … several times a week. And
that Facebook page is Facebook.com/tysonzahnerpage or if you don’t, you can just
type in Zahner. Zahner is spelled Z as in zebra, a-h-n-e-r, and then Tyson is
spelled just like the … like the chicken or better like the fighter. I don’t
wanna be like the chicken. Let’s do like Mike Tyson, the fighter. All right. So
you can go to Facebook./tysonzahnerpage, you can follow me there, get free
content. I’m also on YouTube, probably if you just search for Tyson Zahner inside
of YouTube, you’ll probably find one of my pages. And then if you want to attend
my web class where I show the simple three step formula that I used, that really
fleshes out how to apply these five principles in an actual three step process,
where I show you who the right people are to target that are gonna be the most
likely to buy what it is that you offer. If you want to know what kind of content
to put in front of those people that’s going to actually attract them to you and
get some examples of it and how to convert those people into sales, that’s really
my three step process. But if you want me to flesh it out for you, you can feel
free to join my free web class. It’s about a 60 minute class and you can join that
by simply going over to successwithtyson.com. That is my main page and you’ll see
a link right there on the main page where you can register for my free web class
if you would like to attend. That’s it.

Igor Kheifets: There you go folks. You now know how to become more attractive to
the people in your life and your business. You know how to take yourself from a
standing start to becoming a perceived authority in whatever it is that you’re
promoting, whether weight loss, income opportunities, Bitcoin, which is really,
really hot right now or anything else out there. And if you wanna learn more about
Tyson and how he can help you become more attractive and become an attraction
marketing expert, then go ahead and visit successwithtyson.com. This is Igor
Kheifets with Tyson Zahner, with another episode of the List Building Lifestyle.
Thank you so much for tuning in and until next time we chat, have a good one.

Thank you for listening to The List Building Lifestyle Show, make sure to
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one conversion tactic we share on the show might double your list and double your
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This is Igor Kheifets until next time we talk, have a good one.