5 Rules To Becoming A Great Leader

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Hi, my name is Igor Kheifets and this is the List Building Lifestyle, the only podcast
which delivers cutting edge conversion strategies from the online trenches straight to
your earbuds. Download the transcript of today’s episode and all future episodes at
listbuilidnglifestylesshow.com. I also invite you to grab a free copy of “The Wealthy
List Builder’s Survival Guide” at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com/survival and now
once again it’s time to claim your List Building Lifestyle.

Jonathan: You are listening to List Building Lifestyle. I have the man here, the
chief list builder, the guy with the badass new website, Mr. Igor Kheifets. What
is up my man?

Igor: All is good.

Jonathan: Go tell me the truth Igor, how much did you miss our chats.

Igor: Well, on a scale of one to ten, I’d say – I’d give you seven.

Jonathan: Ooh, ooh.

Igor: You know just to make sure you know I’m not needy, you know. So there’s no
neediness going on.

Jonathan: Got it man. So look, I have to tell you man, I actually did miss our
chats because I’m energized. When I speak to you, you always have a good
perspective on things and you always make me think. So what are you going to make
me and the List Builders think about today?

Igor: Well, I’m not sure about you, because you got this think going on just fine.
But when I started in this MLM/internet marketing space, right, so it’s somewhere
between a classic MLM and being an information marketer, so you sort of promote
online business opportunities. That’s a unique space which I really I mean ended
up kind of settling in the recent years. When you get started in this space, the
one thing you’re told, when you question how come the system doesn’t work, right.
How come I’m paying all this money, but I’m not making any sales, how come I’m
signing up for one program after the next and I’m not making money? So, you’re
being told one thing, that’s really common. You being told you got to be a leader,
right. You’ve got to be a leader because otherwise people won’t follow you. But
the problem I find is that there is not a single program that I was able to locate
on how to become a leader. Now, there’s people out there that are doing a great
job you know being leaders, but they can’t seem to articulate or explain what are
they doing that actually works. So they end up giving you advice such as you know
host inspirational images on Facebook.

Jonathan: Laughter.

Igor: ..you know. And they think that’s what makes you a leader. But it really
does not. It really does not. So today I wanted to kind of break down the five
rules, five behavior rules that you should follow if you’d like to become a
leader. And these are guaranteed to make, you’ll hear it by the say, this is not
made up and this does not come from theory, this actually comes from Navy Seal, a
real world, close quarters combat in Iraq believe it or not.

Jonathan: I’m game. Let’s give in man.

Igor: All right. So, a couple weeks ago I picked up this amazing book called
“Extreme Ownership.” It was written by two guys that are Navy Seal commanders that
went to war in Ramadi, Iraq during the recent times if you will. In fact, if
you’ve seen the movie The American Sniper with Bradley CooperÖ

Jonathan: Yeah.

Igor: Öthen these guys fought, I don’t think they were in the same platoon, but
they were like in a parallel platoon that went out the same time that the Bradley
Cooper’s character went out, right. So these guys are real world fires. You know
they killed people, they led people. And the one thing that they said in that book
is that, there is this misconception that people think that military personnel are
like androids, they’re like robots that they’re just being told what to do and
they go out and they do it. But the reality is, these authors, they challengeÖwhen
I say these authors, it is simply because their names are kind of hard to
pronounce. So you can just go, and Google “Extreme Ownership” or something. So,
yes, these guys they say that military personnel is actually not like that and
that is why you have to lead these people into the battlefield because, let’s face
it, if they do not follow you in the way they’re supposed, well as a commander you
will lose lives and these people will die. So they will question everything
because they know their lives are on the line. And so the five rules that I took
out of that book and all the credit goes to these guys because they were able to
identify these leadership traits in the battlefield through just, well mistakes.
The mistakes they’ve made and their teammates made that costs actual lives. Okay,
so this is not theory. Some people paid for this knowledge with their blood and
you want to take it seriously and you want to apply it to your business if you
want to become a leader and thus start making some actual money. Now, so there are
five rules that I was able to take out of this book that really stood out for me
and that I feel summarized the entire philosophy real well. So the first rule is
extreme ownership. It’s the exact same title of the book. Now what is extreme
ownership? It’s your ability to take ownership of everything good and bad with
your life and with your team at all times. Now we spoke about this on the show
before. We didn’t call it, we didn’t’ you know tag it as extreme ownership, but we
definitely spoke about the importance of taking responsibility for everything
that’s good and bad in your life. By doing so, and especially right, not just by
taking ownership, but especially avoiding to point the finger right and blame
other people and circumstance for your failures, you end up becoming a true leader
because leader, one of the qualities that a leader must have is the ability to
grow through challenges. The ability to deal with challenges and by dealing with
the challenges the leaders inner capacity right, it grows. And when it does people
are instantly attracted to that person. So extreme ownership is the first concept.
Now Jonathan would you like to add anything to that?

Jonathan: Yeah, we’ve called that accountability in the past; we’ve talked about
all that stuff where people are always looking for reason outside of themselves.
I think we talked a little bit about religion in that. And so if you guys want to
go back and dig through the archives, maybe you’ll find that stuff and if you
haven’t heard it, maybe just start from episode one.

Igor: All right, so there you go. So concept number two is they have to believe.
Your team has to believe in the mission. In other words, they don’t just know,
they don’t just have to know what to do, but they have to know why they should do
it. What is the purpose of this action? So don’t just tell them go here and kill
he bad guys, but you have to say go here and kill the bad guys because if we don’t
take over this strategic point they will, you know, sabotage our supply convoy and
we will locked out without food for the next week or something like that. They
have to know and understand the reason why they’re risking their life. Now if you
think by, you know for a second, that you’re not asking your customers to risk
their life, then you are mistaken. You see, when it comes to paying money for
something people don’t feel smart about, they really feel as if they’re risking
their everything. Especially if money’s tight, which you know for many people in
the business opportunity space, you know a lot of people go and try to start
business opportunities simply because their money is always tight. So, when you
ask them to put $100 into something they feel kind of stupid about because they’re
just getting started, or worse, if they have put money into something like that in
the past and they got scammed for it and have not received any or gotten any
results. Then it is as if you’re giving them a gun, you know, putting them in the
chopper and dropping them in the middle of Vietnam or something during the Vietnam
War and asking them to go to war with their rebellious force of the North Vietnam.

Jonathan: You know what, that advice, and I don’t know what book I read it in, but
that advice of why is so freaking powerful and not just for business but I have
this thing where I used to be like, hey that needs to be done because I said and
that’s all and people question that. And even in my marriage I’ve done the same
thing where, hey this is what we’re doing and that’s it and I found that adding
the why helped get my wife in line with me, my team in line with me, and everybody
in line with me by just adding what the purpose was, why I’m doing this. And it
even sometimes got me some advice on how I could do it better.

Igor: Well, yeah, and this is a concept which I personally learned from my mentor
Russ Bowering when he was teaching me how to write copy and he said, “Don’t just
say something, but always say that thing, say something and then explain why you
said it.” So, I ended up kind of developing a habit of including of including a
reason why with everything I said be it with my customers, be it with my
employees, be it business partners, be it with my, well with my wife I’ll be
honest I don’t utilize this as much as I should because I get a lot of rejection.
ButÖlaugherÖbut definitely the reason why, there’s also the reason why
advertising, which is pretty much the same thing where you have to explain why
you’re putting out such an amazing offer and why you’re doing it right now,
otherwise people question you know what’s the catch. So yeah, the constant number
one is extreme ownership of everything in your life and not pointing fingers.
Constant number two is reason why. So they have to know why they’re risking their
life. Now number three is very simple. It’s you can’t make people do things but
you can lead them to do things. In other words forcing people to do something or
pressuring them into it usually doesn’t work and if it does then it doesn’t stick.
But if you lead them through creating a vision of this action, then you will have
a much higher chance of succeeding. Now in the business opportunity space this
comes out, and there’s just one example that comes to mind immediately and that is
you can’t ask anyone to invest with you if you refuse to invest with other people.
So, if you’re somebody who just joined a program with several levels. Let’s just
say there’s a $47 level, there’s a $200 level, and $1,000 level. You can’t expect
for people to sign up at the $1,000 level if you won’t go beyond $200. Like it
just won’t happen. You have to be a good buyer of that thing if you are to become
a good seller and that is again just one example of how it plays out in the
business opportunity space.

Jonathan: Bro, it’s everywhere. It’s rampant. Like how many people out there, and
we’ve talked about this on the show all the time, how many people out there are
telling you hey you should this or you should do that; yet they’re not doing any
of that stuff themselves. So I love the idea of leading by example. That’s, like I
want to be the first one in the trenches showing you that it can be done so that
you can follow me through there.

Igor: Absolutely. Absolutely because nobody likes to work with a person who
doesn’t walk the talk so to speak. And again, this is just think of the
battlefield. I mean if you’re not willing to get on the battlefield and risk your
life how can you ask your team to do the same, right?

Jonathan: Yeah, yeah.

Igor: So, number four is a very good concept. In fact, I have not seen anyone else
talk about it openly but I’ve seen you and Ben and Dan Kennedy implement it really
well and it goes something like this. It’s not what you preach, it’s what you
tolerate. So you may not be the best preacher, you may not be you know somebody
who’s able to take the stage and just run your mouth for hours or even for a
couple of minutes, like say I can. Right? People would say that I am a, you know I
could talk. And that’s fair. It came with experience but that’s fair to say. But
what’s more important when it comes to your team is not to say more, but to show
what you will and will not tolerate. So the moment your team acts in the way that
you do not agree with or you will not tolerate, you have to make them aware of it
and if they don’t stop you have to cut them off. Now from a standpoint of
examples, I can give an example from our traffic business we do it all the time
and recently we’ve done a lot of refusing to tolerate a certain type of behavior
all the way to a point of cutting out an entire organization out of our customer
base.

Jonathan: Really.

Igor: Yeah, which lead to that organization’s leader getting really upset and he
started like a whole political campaign against me and whatever and really up
everybody to basically go and storm my house or something.

Jonathan: Yikes.

Igor: Yeah, but we did it and we would do it again because there is some behavior
we will not tolerate. It doesn’t necessarily mean that we start a war against
somebody, that’s not it. It’s just I think war is a waste of time against people
who don’t necessarily act within your paradigm, but I will cut them out of my
life. So if there’s a customer that misbehaves, they customer will be warned and
if they don’t stop they will be cut out. We fire about 10% of our customers. If
people actually gave us money, we actually give them money back and we say, okay
we refunded you please seek help with your traffic generation needs elsewhere,
right. So there’s behavior we will not tolerate and if they don’t get it then we
will simply cut them off. Now a lot of times we will also outline which behavior
we will not tolerate up front. So a lot of times when somebody creates a new offer
and tries to generate leads they’re afraid to alienate people, they’re afraid to
upset people, they’re afraid to say something that will basically make people say,
oh well maybe that’s not for me. I say if you want to build a thriving business,
thriving lifestyle business where you work with people who you like to work with
and the people who are willing to pay your pricing as well as people who will work
with you on your terms, you definitely want to be upfront and honest about what
you will and will not tolerate regardless if that will offend somebody. In fact
I’ll even go as far as saying it will offend people and they will tell you it
offends them. In fact, they will even retaliate against you, but those are the
customers you don’t want in the first place.

Jonathan: Oh yeah.

Igor: By doing so, by outlining what you do tolerate you then create a really good
customer base that is loyal, that is willing to pay your prices and that is
willing to “go all in”, which is not a problem for people who like the leadership
in our business and business opportunity space. It doesn’t matter who you are as a
person. It doesn’t’ matter what you communication style is, whether you’re
somebody who’s building the authority based on, you know, your video marketing
skills or somebody who’s just keeping it real or something like that. Regardless,
if people know what to expect from you and which behavior you will or will not
tolerate, they are way more likely to work with you than somebody who cannot
clearly outline their principles and their values.

Jonathan: Yeah man.

Igor: Regardless of what these principles and values are.

Jonathan: That’s, I was just at Strategic Coach last week and that’s one of the
things that Dan Sullivan talks about is you’re not measured by what you say yes
to, but really by what you’re saying not to and having that ability to say no to
the people that are going to drag you down or drive you crazy. That really puts
you in a position of power and in fact so much so that I’m, and you’re probably
already doing this, but I’m working, I’m getting ready to run some cold traffic
right now and one of the things on the way in is I’m going to start lead scoring
and scoring people on whether or not they’re the right people to work with and I
usually end up saying no to more people than I say yes to. So that really is a
position of power and a position of leadership.

Igor: Oh, wow, the lead scoring, I never heard that term before. Yeah, it makes a
lot of sense. We used to do it a lot with the coaching program and so whenever I
knew that I was giving this person who was applying my time, so I was really like,
like you said need scoring them by lifting the time to scare them away from
working with me. I do the same thing with people I hire to work. You know, I put
them through; I make them jump through hoops. We actually did an episode about
that recently where I explained my process, like I recruit superstars. And if you
haven’t listened to it, go back and listen to him because it explains specifically
the application of this toleration or intoleration principle in action, not just
with the people who come into your organization, but also who you may hire if you
are at a point where you’re ready to hire somebody. So number five is believe in
your mission. So, number two we mentioned that people have to move in the mission
you’re asking them to embark on, simply because if they don’t believe in admission
they will not give you their all and often then will even rebel against you
because they don’t see why they should act a certain way. Well, number five leads
to you. Do you believe in your mission? And I see this more often than you think
Jonathan where people simply do not believe in what they are doing. I mean they
might even being investing money in the business, but they really cannot envision
themselves being successful and being somebody who, well they don’t feel right in
other words. For instance this could be caused by the fact that they will join the
system, but at the same time they never made money with that system before, or
they never made money online in general. And so if that’s the case they feel like
hypocrites. Now guess what happens when you feel like a hypocrite and you try to
pitch somebody your business.

Jonathan: Oh please man.

Igor: They can smell that from a mile away.

Jonathan: Desperate, right?

Igor: Yeah, I mean they can smell all of that stuff. So if you are to get people
into your organization, then at the very least you have to sell yourself on why
you’re doing it and known as being real for you. And you know a lot of people will
struggle with that step in my opinion, but there is a simple way to overcome it.
This is some practical advice for you right here. So, most people what they do in
this case, and Jonathan I want to know whether you’ve done it or notÖ

Jonathan: Uh-oh.

Igor: Öthey write affirmations.

Jonathan: Affirmations. I don’t use affirmations. I had done in the past though
but it doesn’t work for me. I have other stuff that I do.

Igor: Yeah, yeah I agree with you. I used to write down in my notebook before
going to bed when I was still working two day jobs. I was writing down I make $100
a day quickly and easily. You know and I wrote that for like six months every
single day. But yeah, but I believe that affirmations are not affective, at least
for most people because they don’t do them right. You have to really back that up
by lots and lots of emotion and you have to sort of trick yourself into believing
that you’re saying the truth, you’re stating the truth out loud. But for 99.9% of
the people, myself, and yourself included, I don’t think that’s a good option.
Instead I recommend doing something else. I recommend asking yourself questions.
Now a question is something a mind cannot ignore and you can engage the mind in a
different way if you ask a good question and then you can trick the mind in a
very, you know, if you would say ethical way, in a very easy way, in a way that
has very little resistance to it. You can trick your mind into believing something
that may not necessarily be true yet. Okay? So if you want to believe that you
joined the business opportunity and that’s going to change your life, now you want
to bring other people, and so you have to believe that it changed their life too.
You can ask yourself the question what are the ten reasons that, and there you can
put the name of your opportunity. Let’s just say your opportunity is called Sit On
Your Ass Marketing. What is the reason, what are the ten reasons that
SitonYourAssMarketing.com is going to become my number one income stream in the
next six months? And then you literally sit down and you try to answer this
question. And trust me, if you just ask this question and allow your mind to think
about it for a couple minutes, you will find the ten reasons. It’s virtually
impossible for you not to. That’s how the brain works. Then once you find these
ten reasons you will find it fascinating how much more believable this goal has
now become. Right? Anytime I find myself really in doubt and not knowing what to
do, that’s the first exercise I do. I sit down and ask myself a question. Like
what are the reasons for, like what are the opportunities? And I end up getting
back on track really quite literally less than 20 minutes and kind of feeling
inspired to act with lots and lots of believe breaking out my actions.

Jonathan: Good stuff Igor. So, I want to review those real quick. Can you go over
the five parts of the extreme ownership as we’re wrapping up this episode?

Igor: Sure. So, we’ve got extreme ownership is number one. This means you take
extreme ownership for everything that’s good and bad in your life and stop
pointing fingers at other people and circumstance. I mean this even includes if
you got scammed you should blame yourself for falling for the scam, you shouldn’t
blame the scammer. You should thank the scammer for teaching you a lesson. Number
two; give them a reason to believe. Your troops or your followers need to
understand why they’re doing what you’re asking them to do. Without you cannot
expect them to move forward. Number three, you can’t make people do things but you
can lead people to do things. Okay, leading them to do something is very different
than making them. Number four; it’s not what you preach it’s what you tolerate. So
you have to be clear and you have to make your potential customers clear as well
on what you will or will not tolerate when it comes to working. By establishing
ground rules you set expectations and you position yourself as somebody who, at
the very least, has principles and values, whatever those values are. And number
five is believe in your own mission. So if you don’t believe in what you’re doing
your troops will not believe in what you’re doing. If you don’t believe in the
mission your troops will never sacrifice anything to accomplish it.

Jonathan: Now it is time for a curve ball before we go. What is your mission?

Igor: My mission is to help people that are currently struggling with their
business opportunity marketing people who are brand new in the business and are
still trying to learn the ropes, still jumping from one opportunity to another
opportunity, still trying to recruit people on social media, still trying to
harass friends and family, are still, basically are stuck in that vicious cycle of
getting negative feedback through their ability to accomplish this dream, and
helping these people to set up an automated business through pay traffic, list
building, and email marketing so they can enjoy living the list building
lifestyle.

Jonathan: And where can people find out more about what you do?

Igor: Oh, that’s easy. You can either go to the show site
www.listbuildinglifestyleshow.com or you can go to www.igorsoloads.com if you’re
looking for some traffic.

Jonathan: All right. That’s a wrap for another List Building Lifestyle. We’ll be
back with you next time.

Thanks for listening to The List Building Lifestyle Show, make sure to subscribe on iTunes
or Google. Play to never miss an episode because who knows just one conversion tactic
we share on the show might double your list and double your business. Download the
transcript of today’s episode and all future episodes at listbuilderslifestyleshow.com and
don’t forget to claim your complimentary copy of “The Wealthy List Builder’s Survival
Guide” at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com/survival . This is Igor Kheifets until next time we talk, have a good one.

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