2 Ways To Instantly Be More Likeable

Igor: Hi, my name is Igor Kheifets and this is the List Building Lifestyle, the only podcast
which delivers cutting edge conversion strategies from the online trenches straight to
your earbuds. Download the transcript of today’s episode and all future episodes at
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List Builder’s Survival Guide” at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com/survival and now
once again it’s time to claim your List Building Lifestyle.

Welcome back to another edition of the List Building Lifestyle, with your host
, Igor Kheifets. There’s two specific things about you that get people to buy from you.
They either like you or they feel you’re trustworthy, or both. If you fail to elicit
these two judgments from your potential customers, I guarantee they’ll
leave you for someone who does, and if no one in the entire marketplace
elicits these emotions, they’ll buy from whoever is on the first page of
Google. Your conversion rates are directly proportionate to how likable
and trustworthy you are as a person, not as a place of business or a
marketing brand, then to secondary factors such as having a superior
product, better price, or faster customer support.

Your customers will tolerate all your flaws and your product’s flaws
because they prefer and insist on doing business with people they like
and trust. Since you’re a raging fan of the List Building Lifestyle
Show, I doubt I’ve shared anything you didn’t already know, but I had to
set the stage for what I’m about to show you next. What if you could
build instant rapport with people over any media, email, video, audio,
webinar, direct mail, anything, by generating a higher like score with a
simple technique? Don’t worry. It’s not some shady manipulation tactic.
It’s not about saying what the prospect wants to hear or using some
special phrase that magically turns off your prospect’s sales defense.
No. It’s much simpler. It’s much more honest, too, because most rapport
building advice encourages you to match your behavior to the other
person’s style. You sort of have to fake who you are for a while to get
them to like you. I call bullshit on such advice, and I know I’m going
to piss off a lot of those NLP and persuasion gurus, and I don’t care.

The way you get more people to like you is by fully owning all of your
flaws. Now, quick disclaimer. You can get everyone to like you, and it’s
not the goal here either. The goal is to get help for you to attract
enough perfect customers to earn six figures from home. For that, you
just need several thousand people at most, usually much less, probably
around a couple of hundred. How does this work? Let me share a
real-world example with you of an actual person, a real person, who does
this for a living. He’s a professional nothing doer, okay, and he’s
fully capable of supporting himself and his family because he’s got a
raving database, a raving fan base, of just a couple of hundred people
who follow him into any opportunity that he wants.

Now, his name is David. It’s a real name, and this guy, he attracts
people through a simple … Well, actually, a couple simple techniques,
but the first one and the one that stands out the most is that he just
doesn’t care if you like him or not. He’s just very honest about all of
his flaws and all of his bad things, if you will, bad character things.
He is absolutely honest and open about it up front when he starts your
relationship with you. When you position yourself that way, when you
just call yourself out on all the things that people are supposed to
hate you for, the opposite becomes true. People just can’t hate you for
it anymore, and this sort of becomes your thing. When you fully own all
of your negative elements, right? When you fully own the dark side of
yourself, when you fully own that, people instantly like you and respect
you way more than if you were trying to hide all those things and try to
pretend to be someone you’re not. Okay? That’s one way to do it.

The other thing you really have to do, and it’s not so much as far as
doing it, but more so applying the right mindset to your behavior, and
that is to not give a fuck about whether or not someone likes you based
on your character and your behavior. In other words, when you own your
flaws, when you own the dark side of yourself, and you are openly
showing it, not necessarily shoving it in people’s faces, but just
openly talk about it and openly behave a certain way and just be honest
about it with people, the other side of it, okay, the other stage of
this behavior is to be okay if someone hates you.

Now, you have to recognize that a lot of people will hate you
regardless. Whether or not you behave the way they want you to behave,
they will hate you just because people are like that, and the same time,
there’s going to be a lot of people who’ll recognize you for being
completely independent and being able to be vulnerable, because honesty
in relationships is vulnerability, and that usually leads to better,
more wholesome confidence. Right? When people see that in you, they will
appreciate you more for it, and they will find you more trustworthy and
real because today, in this world, everybody tries to hide behind some
kind of a mask, be it because of the product they’re marketing, be it
because of they got some agenda, be it because they just want you to
like them so bad, but whatever the case, people do hide behind masks,
and they pretend to be someone who they’re not.

They’re basically fake, so when you show up for real, even if you show
up as somebody who they may not necessarily agree with, they’ll still
like you and respect you and find you trustworthy because you don’t try
to hide behind a mask. By doing so, by A, owning your dark side, and B,
not being needy about other people liking you, you will automatically
start attracting more people. Now, this applies to your marketing as
well. When you put out the communication to your list, when you shoot
videos, when you produce any kind of content, what I see a lot of people
do, they try to be neutral. They try to be vanilla, where they really
work hard to not offend anyone. They’re like Canada. You know what I
mean? Like they sort of express an opinion trying not to get in a fight
with anyone, but when you do that, nobody will respect you, nobody will
like you, and no one will find you trustworthy, especially when it comes
to marketing products and getting people to join your income
opportunity.

My advice to you is to make a list of all the flaws of you as a person
as well as a list of all the flaws of your product or your system.
Literally be super critically honest about why it sucks and why it’s
awesome. Just be able to openly present the case to your customers and
your potential clients and say, “Look, the thing I love about this is A,
B, C, but here’s the thing I really hate about it, A, B, C, D,”
whatever. Right? By doing so, you’re truly allowing the customer to make
a buying decision and not make the customer feel like you’re sort of
trying to sort of manipulate them into a buying decision, because that’s
when they kind of smell this stuff and try to run the other way from
you.

The other thing is, when you present in front of a camera, or when you
write emails and you try to inject your personality, don’t be afraid to
express an opinion. Just be honest. Just, if you hate Trump, just say
you hate him. If you love Trump, say you love him. If you hate an expert
of some kind, even if that expert is highly respected, like let’s just
say if I was writing an email to my list about email marketing, all
right, so I subscribe to the school of thought of Ben Settle. The school
of thought of Ben Settle is basically the Seinfeld of email, which means
each email is not connected to the previous one. You can send them in
any sort of like sequence you want, and the way to write them is to
write your emails about pretty much just nothing. If you found a fly in
your soup today, you can write an email about it and actually, that
would be the Ben Settle style of email.

Now, there’s another school of thought about email by Andre Chaperon.
Andre Chaperon preaches opera sequences, so you basically have to become
a screenwriter and write a 90-day, this ridiculously long and
ridiculously complex email sequence with characters, and plotlines, and
twists, and unexpected endings, and all that stuff. Well, I don’t know.
When I try to choose between the two sequences or the two schools of
thought, obviously I’m going with the Seinfeld because it’s much easier.
It’s like writing an email in 10 minutes and making money from it as
opposed to sitting down and taking three months to just understand the
concepts behind writing screenplays so then you can write a 14-day
sequence to sell a $9 eBook. Makes no sense to me, so I am able to
openly disagree with Andre Chaperon.

But of course, it’s not like I’m trying to put him down or anything like
that, because he’s obviously making money with that thing, but I’m able
to express my opinion clearly and visibly and definitely and say, “This
is not my cup of tea. I do not agree with that philosophy. Maybe it
works for someone else, but it definitely doesn’t work for me. This is
the philosophy I subscribe to.” By doing so, I’m obviously going to
repel people who believe that Andre’s strategy is superior, but at the
same time, I’ll attract people who share my thoughts and my ideas about
this method, and they’ll come in, and they’ll become my customers.

Now, the example I just gave you is actually a real-world example,
because I often do talk about these two schools of thought of email, and
I even hosted Andre and Ben Settle on this show where we openly
discussed these concepts. Believe it or not, a big portion of my
customer base subscribes to both Andre and Ben Settle as well as the
people who talk about them in our community, and they’re perfectly fine
with me and them not being in full agreement about how these emails need
to get done. It doesn’t stop them from being my customers. It doesn’t
stop them from liking and trusting me, because they know they’re getting
someone who’s for real.

Next time you sit down to create a marketing piece, a content piece,
next time you sit down to talk about your product or someone else’s
product, next time you put out any communication to your audience, your
list, or just people you don’t even know and you’re trying to make a
good first impression, remember, don’t be needy for their approval,
because by being needy for their approval, you are automatically
repelling them, and be open and honest about your dark side. Okay? Don’t
be obnoxious about it, but be open and honest, because those are the two
ways you instantly become more likable and more trustworthy in their
eyes. As a result, they’re much more likely to become your customers.

Thank you for listening to The List Building Lifestyle Show, make sure to
subscribe on iTunes or Google Play to never miss an episode because who knows just
one conversion tactic we share on the show might double your list and double your
business. Download the transcript of today’s episode and all future episodes at
listbuilderslifestyleshow.com and don’t forget to claim your complimentary copy
of “The Wealthy List Builder’s Survival Guide” at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com/survival .
This is Igor Kheifets until next time we talk, have a good one.