What is the one element that will separate you from everyone in your market?
In today’s episode, I reveal what customers look for in order to feel confident you can lead them.
You also learn why procrastination can and will kill confidence (and a simple way to protect yourself)
What to do if you are second-guessing the path you have taken.
How to trick your brain into tackling difficult projects without becoming paralyzed.
And the one phrase I learned from Robin Sharma to overcome my fear of flying airplanes.
This program is brought to you by the ThePodcastFactory.com.
Hi, my name is Igor Kheifets and this is the List Building Lifestyle, the only podcast
which delivers cutting edge conversion strategies from the online trenches straight to
your earbuds. Download the transcript of today’s episode and all future episodes at
listbuilidnglifestylesshow.com. I also invite you to grab a free copy of “The Wealthy
List Builder’s Survival Guide” at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com/survival and now
once again it’s time to claim your List Building Lifestyle.
Jonathan: This is it. This is what you have been waiting for all week, Igor
Kheifets, List Building Lifestyle, and more tips to improve your life. Let’s get
on with it. What’s up Igor?
Igor: Hey Jonathan. You know the other day I had a VIP client hit me up on
Facebook and he just joined the club, the VIP Club that we advertise on the site.
He was like, “Igor, so excited to be here.” I’m like cool tell me a story
like how did you end up in the Club. And all of a sudden, he goes into this rant
and gives me the entire story of how he started with this guy and he followed that
guy for a month and that he put down five grand with that guy and he failed here
and he failed there. Basically his life for the last few years was one giant shit
storm. He had to move back with his parents. Like really? I almost felt sorry for
the guy. But you have to be careful not to feel sorry for your clients because you
can’t help them. Right? Like you have to inspire them to get up to your level
versus feeling sorry and kind of getting down to their level so I listened closely
to the story, I mean he typed it out so I read it closely. You know if you ever
got this, Jonathan, when you read someone’s email or you read someone’s
message and you can the smell the desperation.
Igor: This desperation, this neediness was so obvious that I just wrote, “Look
dude, I’m not sure if you’re open to hear this but I know exactly what your
problem is.” Thankfully for me, he was open to hearing it and I told him that he
just projects this vibe of neediness and he was cool about it.
Igor: I had experiences where I said this to clients and they just left the Club
because they took offense or whatever but you know neediness is what kills
responses, what kills success on many levels not just in your business, not just
when it come to sales but it actually rubs on people in your life too. I notice
that whenever I felt needy, whenever I felt this sort of vibe and I’m not
talking about feeling scared. Like feeling scared before a challenge is one thing
and it’s good and I can share that with my wife. If I feel really anxious, I can
tell my wife, “Look honey, I’m so nervous about this upcoming podcast
recording.” She is very understanding. But when we are talking about neediness
and neediness is when you try to place the cause for your success in other people
and not in circumstance and you sort of like act as if you’re lost. This is what
will get you in trouble in every area of your life. So this why, you know
continuing the theme of a few recent episodes we’ve been doing, I want to
discuss what Wallace D. Wattles shared in Signs of Getting Rich, a great book, I
highly recommend you read it if you’re into the secret and law of attraction. He
spoke about doing things in a certain way. He said that, “People who are
successful in life and people who get what they want, they do things in a certain
way.” When I first read the book, Jonathan, it’s funny because I thought when
he says a certain way, like he says a specific way like a way I’m going to share
with you but then throughout the whole book he never said what that way is. So the
first time I read the book, I didn’t really understand it. But then a friend of
mine pointed out that certain means absence of doubt.
Igor: Right? So ‘a certain way’ he meant do things with certainty, to do
things with full confidence, to do things with 100% belief in the righteousness of
what you’re doing and when you act that way basically act as if and go as
though, right, if we want to put it into a biblical term. That’s when you
attract people, that’s when people want to work with you on your terms, that’s
when things just sort of work out because this boldness is what makes it work out.
Jonathan: I like that. Think a certain way. [laughter] So easy to miss.
Igor: Yeah, it’s really counterintuitive but again this confidence is one of
those things that you see in all successful people. If you ever went to a seminar
for instance and you connected with a highly accomplished individual; you never
sense uncertainty around them. You never sense neediness. You never sense them
trying to please other people. All you sense is this lion-like confidence and you
want that and you want to model that and you want to have a piece of that and when
that happens, when you can inspire that feeling in your customer base this is when
they will do anything you want.
Jonathan: Yeah right because that’s what they are actually looking for. They are
looking for you to have the confidence in what you’re doing so that you can lead
them there because if you don’t have that then they questions whether you’re
the right person or not.
Igor: Yeah and people kind of weird like that where they use the confidence they
have for you to find the confidence for themselves because again I mentioned in
this episode and in many other episodes, people always seek the cause for failure
and success outside of themselves which means if they can find that cause for
success in you and your confidence and they can say, “Look JR is so confident
and he knows what he is doing I’m going to stick to him because he’s going to
be my reason to believe I can be successful.” That will be enough for them to
believe in themselves. Because confidence where does it really come from? Ben
Settle says that ‘confidence comes from options’. So if you have more than one
income stream you can be confident and sleep well at night. If you only have one
income stream you will probably worry and if you have no income streams then
you’ll lose sleep all together. So that’s one source of confidence. The other
source of confidence from me is knowledge and preparation and that’s the source
of confidence that my mentor Tom Beal talks a lot about. He is a pro wrestler,
ex-wrestler and a Marine so all the preparation he has done towards the wrestling
championships he participated and won etc that’s what allowed him to be
confident and I remember him telling a story about how he went out and he beat
this guy that was undefeated and I said you must have been scared shitless before
the match and he says, “Well I was like obviously I didn’t know what was going
to happen and I was trying to get myself detached from the outcome but I was
confident going in because of all the training and preparation I put in before the
fight.” So training and preparation and knowledge is another source and these
are two sources that you can tap for yourself to create this “artificial”
confidence, “artificial” certainty to be able to project that from your core
to the marketplace and then it’s going to start feeding on itself when you have
people hit up and try to have some of that stuff rub on them.
Jonathan: No kidding. You know what I keep hearing about Tom Beal, I want to know
more about him. I’m just starting to dig into his work and it seems like you and
a bunch of other people have learned a great deal from him. He’s been on the
show hasn’t he?
Igor: Oh yeah, for sure and he’s the man behind the Syndicate so guys he’s
like Frank Kerns, Ryan Dice, Harry Belcher, Jeff Walker, Andy Jenkins, Mike
Filsaime, he used to run a business together with Mike Filsaime for several years.
Basically all of these guys, they consulted him and he was part of their
mastermind and for a long while he worked for Rich Schefren, he was his JV guy and
business partner as well. Basically Tom Beal is the Who Who’s man; he’s the
Jonathan: [laughter] Sounds like fan boy talk. [laughter]
Igor: Yeah, man. It sure is.
Jonathan: He’s good.
Igor: I’ve been connecting with Tom every week for an hour for last year and
half or so. He’s a tremendous human being and just so valuable. The guy knows so
much and has so much experience. I highly recommend looking him up and reaching
out to him to see if you can get coached by him, I mean no matter who you are
because I see no way for you to spend some time with him and not walk out with
benefits, you know what I mean?
Jonathan: Yeah, so you wanted to work with him because you were certain he was the
right mentor for you and it looks to me like it’s working because you’ve had
tremendous growth in that time, haven’t you? So what are some more tips that you
can give about that certainty aspect that you got from the Signs of Getting Rich?
Igor: Well, another tip I want to share about certainty is something I didn’t
actually pick up in Sign of Getting Rich is that I found that the more you
procrastinate about taking action the less certainty you got no matter who you are
so even if you’re like a multi-millionaire but you’ve been procrastinating
about a project of some sort and you have been kind of delaying that project,
you’ll find your certainty levels, your confidence levels go down. So a lot of
times certainty comes from action and not from perfect action but just from
actions. So it goes back to the old saying, “You don’t have to get it right,
you just have to get it started.” When you do all of a sudden you notice how
your certainty levels go up. Now you might not get it right the very first time
and you’ll find yourself doubtful later. However that initial certainty is going
to be enough for you to keep going. So if you find yourself struggling to become
certain about your path, do something. Just sit down and create a piece of
content, reach out to a joint venture partner, connect to a client, do whatever
you have to do just do something where you step outside your comfort zone and
you’ll notice your confidence level just goes way up.
Jonathan: That comes back to action. We’ve been talking about that in episodes
just even a few episodes ago and over and over again just taking these small
imperfect actions. I don't know if you’re going to have him on the show or
not because it was an interesting conversation on Facebook but it reminds me of
some work I’m doing with Sean D’Souza, Psycho Tactics where he’s got the
most interesting – I’ve never really read his books but I’ve never really
got into his training until recently and his training can seem annoying because
everyday is like one small thing, one small little step and you’re like I’m
getting nowhere but it’s the small steps that he says lead to the giant leaps in
your ability and so I think that small imperfect action falls right in line with
Igor: Oh yeah, it’s a perfect way to trick the brain. I mean Sean really got it
down pat. Often times I will look at a project that I plan on hitting and I’m
like, “Oh man this is going to be so difficult, it’s going to take such a long
time.” But if you can actually break it down into super small steps whether
daily steps or weekly steps, it doesn’t matter like how often you take them but
it’s just the size of the step. It’s a very easy way to trick the brain to not
get in your way and accomplish a lot. I remember I had this task where I had to
write ten emails for a client and sometimes emails flow really easily. Sometimes I
can sit down and write an email in seven minutes and send it but sometimes
especially when I’m writing for a client not for myself but for a client things
can get difficult and I procrastinate and I procrastinate and I delay and I delay
and I delay until it’s deadline time and I have to sit down and do it. I
remember coming back home from the coffee shop around 4pm realizing that I forgot
I got this deadline to deliver on the emails. I had to write ten emails. A package
of ten emails can seems like a lot even if for an email copywriter because
that’s ten different ideas and different deliveries and lots of words to type.
So I got scared. I got frustrated. I got overwhelmed but then I said you know
what? What I’m going to do now is I’m going to sit down and pull up my
Evernote and I’m going to come up with ten ideas, one idea per email. So I’m
not going to write the emails today, I’m going to push the deadline. I’m going
to email the client and say, “Hey look, something came up, I can’t finish it
today, I’ll finish it tomorrow in the afternoon.” I’m just going to sit down
and write the ideas for my emails. That’s what I’ve done one by one I came up
with ideas for these emails and I just wrote them down in one sentence so one
sentence was the dumbest law in California. The other sentence was your fear of
public speaking and I don’t really recall exactly what the emails were but
that’s what it looked like. Then once I wrote down those ideas, I said you know
let me just write one email. I will just pick whatever idea that seems like the
easiest one and I’m going to write it. I pick up I think the fifth idea on the
list, wrote an email fairly quickly. I was like okay, I’ll write another one.
That’s how I finished the task. I finished it the same day but because I tricked
my brain into these small steps, it did not get in my way of hitting it.
Jonathan: Yeah, man. Just that motion, that motion getting things going that’s
the hardest part sometimes. I like that. So anything else about taking action,
about the Signs of Getting Rich, about certainty that we can share with the List
Igor: Obviously, experience brings certainty as well like in addition to all the
things that we discussed actually real world experience brings certainty that is
why I found myself in the past 12 months trying to live my life by my fear is my
goal. This is something I heard from Robin Sharma for the first time and basically
whenever I hear something the best way to gain the tools to deal with it and stop
feeling anxious about it and to gain experience is to actually go into that
situation. For example, my friends surprised me with a flying lesson, a lesson on
how to fly a plane. You’ve probably seen the photos on Facebook.
Jonathan: Yeah, of course.
Igor: So I got a massive fear of flying, I kid you not. It’s one of the most
terrifying things that I have to go through. I did it. I wanted to cancel it but
then I got a grip and I did it. Now I’m not afraid of flying anymore.
Igor: Yeah, I flew the plane.
Jonathan: It worked.
Igor: Come on. See you can’t be really afraid of flying after you flew a plane.
Obviously there is some anxiety related to what if the plane crashes etc but
it’s no where near where it used to be. It was one of the scariest things that
I’ve ever done. I should say not the actual flying thing but anticipating,
right, anticipating the whole thing was very, very scary. So but once I’ve done
it, once I’ve had the experience, the first hand experience, I no longer feel
anxiety or nervousness when I think about flying a plane. So what this means is
when you feel anxiety towards writing an email, guess what you have to do? Sit
your ass down and write a damn email.
Igor: If you feel anxiety towards approaching girls in a bar then go out and start
approaching for the sake of approaching not for the sake of success but just
approach girls and start talking about nothing. So just the mere action in the
direction that you’re afraid of, in the direction you lack certainty is what is
going to get you the certainty you need to succeed.
Jonathan: That is so, so true, man. You know I did the same thing, I like to get
out there, and surf but I had a bad fear of the water so the way I got rid of my
fear for the water is I went and got scuba certified and spent two days
Jonathan: Yeah. I used to get just terrified just a little bit of water up my nose
and I would start freaking out and that makes it difficult to surf. [laughter]
Igor: I bet.
Jonathan: Oh man, good stuff. Good stuff, Igor. So what do you have coming up for
the List Builders next time?
Igor: Next time, I’m going to interview Ben Glinsky, an owner of a network
marketing company that just exploded recently called Skinny Body Care and I’m
not going to be interviewing him about his Skinny Body product of course but more
so about his journey going from a nobody to a top distributor in a company to
starting his own company and what he learned along the way. I think if you are
just getting started in network marketing or internet marketing you’ll find this
episode extremely valuable because Ben shares the kind of growth stages he went
through on this journey and this will really help speed up your success if you
stuck right now.
Jonathan: Awesome, looking forward to that. So another episode of List Building
Lifestyle is in the can, we’ll be back with you next time.
Thanks for listening to The List Building Lifestyle Show, make sure to subscribe on iTunes
or Google. Play to never miss an episode because who knows just one conversion tactic
we share on the show might double your list and double your business. Download the
transcript of today’s episode and all future episodes at listbuilderslifestyleshow.com and
don’t forget to claim your complimentary copy of “The Wealthy List Builder’s Survival
Guide” at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com/survival . This is Igor Kheifets until next time we talk, have a good one.
This is the ThePodcastFactory.com.