The Dilemma of the Crisis Guy  

Fear drove me to build a life I’m proud of, a life with options, security and freedom. But now that the crisis is gone, I’m realizing fear was also the fuel. In this episode, I’m exploring what it means to move beyond survival mode, and whether it’s possible to create something truly new when the crisis is gone.

[0:26]

I’m Igor Kheifets, and this is The ListBuilding Lifestyle. The podcast is for anyone who wants to build a wildly profitable email list working from home. If you’d like to make six figures, travel the world and help people improve their lives in the process, this podcast is for you. I also invite you to claim a free copy of my best selling book, The List Building Lifestyle Confessions of an Email Millionaire at www.igorsbook.com
Get the free book plus $3,000 bonus package that includes my best capture page templates, email swipe files and traffic blueprints, visit www.igorsbook.com for details, And now it’s time to claim your List Building Lifestyle!

[1:12]
So, this fear has always been the primary driver to everything that I’ve done, to the extent that it helped me build what I would say is a pretty decent online business and a pretty decent lifestyle. And now in my 30s, I have accumulated a nest egg, I have built and kind of set up my life the way I want it to be set up. There’s pretty much nothing that I can’t afford in cash. There are no limits to where I can go. And there’s really, like, if I want something, I can have it. Again, within reason, like I can’t become the next NBA player, but you know what I mean.

[1:51]
So, that’s a pretty comfortable position, and at the same time, it’s a position that is hurting me, because my system doesn’t know how to deal with that. Meaning it’s almost like I have an Android phone that’s trying to run an iOS, unlike an apple firmware, where for me to perform well, I’ve trained myself that I needed the fear, the danger of some kind, a crisis, a threat.

But, with the way I’ve built my life right now, there’s no big threat, there’s no big crisis, there’s no big danger, and I’ve built so many different contingency plans and mechanisms that if there is one, if everything collapses, I know what to do.

And so, again, on one hand, it’s amazing, and I wish that every single one of you gets into this position, but on the other hand, my system is not equipped to work with this, and I’m finding that I’m running out of fuel, and I’m kind of like finding myself struggling with hitting the next level.

[3:16]
So, if I behave this way, and my kids see me behave this way my entire life, it will transfer over to them, and it will also prevent me from setting big, ambitious goals for them. What’s going to happen is I’m going to raise children who think small and who rather than go and achieve and create from a position of “anything’s possible for me”, and “the world is my oyster”, and “I can define who I want to become”, with no borders, no limits, they’ll grow up to be kind of like me, trying to escape crisis.

Because that’s what I am, I’m the guy who escaped crisis, I’m the guy who escaped poverty, I’m the guy who escaped violence, I’m the guy who escaped powerlessness growing up, I’ve escaped conditions where I had no ability to call the shots, I’ve escaped conditions where I had no options, where I only had limits, I had escaped conditions that pretty much were built to keep me where I was, and I rebelled against that system, and I climbed out of that shit hole, and that’s what I am.

But for my kids, I wish for them to hit the next level, and the next level is to create from a position of a different baseline. Meaning, while I spend my life climbing out of a shit hole, they should be using that as a baseline, as a launch pad, moving forward without having to know and experience this sort of crisis mode, right?

[05:06]
Because living in crisis mode is not going to get you doing something big, you know what I mean? Like, you can build a big business, but you can’t really go and do something that makes a dent in the universe. Not so much from a standpoint of making a lot of money, but more so from a standpoint of creating a future that didn’t exist before.

Because great entrepreneurs, what they do is they create a future. They don’t just solve a problem, right?. A guy who’s like a plumber, he’s probably going to be fixing pipes for the rest of his life. At best, he’s going to have a crew, but he’s probably not going to build a big business.

A true entrepreneur, a great entrepreneur, would go on to not just fix the pipes, rather start a company that get city contracts or government contracts to do plumbing for entire neighborhoods, because that would mean that this entrepreneur would have to have developed a skill set, negotiation skill set, understanding government contracts and auctions, being able to seduce politicians, being able to build a big crew at a scale, etc.

But a truly great entrepreneur, the sort of entrepreneur that leaves a mark in history, is somebody who creates a future that didn’t exist before. And I’m afraid that’s the category of entrepreneurs that I will probably never be a part of. That’s one of my deep fears! And we’re talking entrepreneurs like Musk, who was able to create Starlink, SpaceX. He didn’t create Tesla, but he helped develop Tesla into what it became. We’re talking the likes of Steve Jobs, who invented the iPhone, and was able to sort of perceive that you can combine a camera and a phone and a music device and, like the computer, basically, into your mobile device, which changed, let’s face it, this thing changed the course of history!

[07:30]
So, all the entrepreneurs who were able to create a future that did not exist before. That is what I want my kids to become, I don’t know in which industry, I don’t know in which sphere. My secret hope is for my son to become a professional football player and for my daughter to become like a professional artist. But I don’t think either is going to happen, to be quite honest with you, because my son doesn’t quite like to play football, and my daughter doesn’t like to perform.

But I’m hoping that in the process of learning the skill set, they’ll at least acquire the personal development traits, the discipline, the ability to push through, the attention to detail, etc, that would allow them to be great at something else. But I hope that they can make a difference that way. I hope that when they’ve grown up, for them not to see any limits to what they can do, for them to basically not to play small. That’s what I want for them.

[08:40]
And I believe that it’s important to break through my own limitation of being the crisis guy, right? To go from crisis to crisis, and to constantly fight some kind of fear or run away from some sort of disaster, for them to become that. Otherwise they are just going to grow up like me, and that means they will not play big, that means they will not go beyond the sandbox. And that would be a tragedy! As far as I’m concerned.

Because I believe that every child is a genius, as long as that child is developed, and most kids, unfortunately, are not developed. Most kids are not told they’re a genius. Most kids are not told that they can do anything. That’s not backed up by the education system and by the behavior of their parents.

Because their parents, just like myself, and my wife, and just like many people I know, we are all limited by our own set of limiting beliefs, right? And so, I’m a product of what my parents raised. But I was fortunate enough to have enough self awareness to understand my flaws and to try and not transfer those to my children. I don’t know if it’s a success yet, but that’s what I’m thinking.

[10:12]

Thank you for listening to The List Building Lifestyle, get access to the previous episodes, transcript of today’s show, as well as other exclusive content at www.listbuildinglifestyleshow.com. Also remember to claim your free copy of my best selling book at www.igorsbook.com. It explains how I made millions with list buildings starting from scratch, plus I’ll give you $3,000 worth of free bonuses, including my best landing page templates, email swipe files and traffic blueprints. Go to www.igorsbook.com, now to claim your free package!