How To Build a Giant Business While Being a Good Dad

How do you build a thriving business and have enough time and energy left to give to your family at the end of the day?

How do you succeed in every area of your life without burning out?

As an 8-figure marketer and a serial entrepreneur, I’ve always bumped against the “balance” challenge.

In this episode I go deep into how I was able to build the largest privately-owned email advertising agencies in the world without sacrificing quality of my family life.

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Igor Kheifets: I'm Igor Kheifets and this is the List Building Lifestyle, a podcast
for those who want to build a large profitable email list and make six figures from
anywhere in the world. If you would like to get rich by building a large email list
while helping people, this podcast is for you. I also invite you to attend a free web
class I'm conducting this week to find out how I built a list of four-million-three-
hundred-thirty-one thousand-six-hundred-and-fifty-six email subscribers at a profit.
Secure your free seat at Igor.cx. Attend this free workshop to discover an easy
way to get 50 to 500 new email leads per day on complete autopilot without losing
tons of money. Just go to Igor.cx to attend this free web class. And now, once again
it's time to claim your list building lifestyle.

Welcome back to another episode of the List Building Lifestyle with your host Igor
Kheifets. As a serial entrepreneur, and I say serial in a very mild way I guess,
almost laughing because most of the businesses I started were always in the online
education space, specifically that make money online niche, teaching other people
or assisting people to work from home. But as a serial entrepreneur, I've always
faced the challenge that most serial entrepreneurs face today. And that is, how do
you combine your family life, your personal life other than your family, and your
business? Because if there is any serial entrepreneur out there listening right
now, I'm sure you guys can resonate with that.

Basically, when you're an entrepreneur and when you subscribe to the belief that
the purpose of life is continuous improvement in every area of your life, you
always stumble to this challenge of how can I be at my best? How can I become the
best person I can be, be it as a parent, as a husband or a partner, as a business
owner, as a friend, as a human being. And what you find is to become great at
anything, you need time, energy, and focus. These are the primary resources that
are required to become great, to become skilled at pretty much anything in your
life. That's why for the first three to five years or so, in my online business I
don't remember doing anything other than learning copywriting, product creation,
influence and all the necessary skills to become successful online and pretty much
in any business.

So I spent all these years getting really good at this stuff so now I can do this
on autopilot. And even so, it still requires a lot of time, a lot of effort to
scale. So it doesn't require effort right now to maintain business where it is but
to take it to the next level every single month, lots of effort, energy, and focus
is required. And the thing about focus is that this is the kind of resource that
doesn't quite replenish as fast as [inaudible 00:03:13] to replenish. Again, I'm
not sure about most people, I can only speak for myself. But what I can tell you
is that I have greater focus and greater ability to maintain focus on a particular
task in the mornings than I do in the evenings. In fact, in the evenings, I can't
do anything that requires actual focus. I can't really sit down to write an email,
a copy, study a document, come up with a product idea. There is no way that I can
do it in an email.

The reason I bring this up is because in order to maintain sanity and in order to
live up to the kind of person I want to become, I need to invest energy and focus
into every area of my life. Now, some areas have been getting more focus than
others in my life in the recent couple of years, especially since we relocated to
Canada. However, still there's goals. I have goals as far as what kind of parent
do I wanna be, especially with a second child on the way now. What kind of human
being I want to be, what kind of husband would I like to be? What kind of friend
would I like to be? So every area of my life requires lots and lots of focus, but
focus as I said is a very limited resource. It's the kind of resource that you
have to be really careful about giving to certain things. Because if you're not,
what you'll find is you spread yourself thin and then you don't really get results
in any area of your life.

In fact, what I find most common here is that a lot of people these days, they
wanna be everything to everybody. They want to be the jack of all trades. They
wanna have many many skills and try many many things, and experience many many
different situations and people and careers. But what they are missing is that the
secret to success and has always been this way, technology is not going to change
that, the way society develops is not going to change that. The secret to success
is investing yourself fully into one, two, maybe three but usually just one or two
skillsets. In other words, you can't really be good at everything, but if you're
good at one thing, you will find success.

So as an entrepreneur, once you've got your one thing going life gets much easier.
Because you could use that one thing to build your wealth but once you grow your
wealth, and once you build your castle, as my mentor loves to call it. Basically,
after a while you start building up your castle. You have something, you've built
up some good stuff in your life, you've got relationships, you've got values,
you've got possessions and you kind of settle into a routine. Once you have all
that, to take things to the next level and to not lose those things you almost
have to start mastering other skill sets at the same deep level you've mastered
your primary skill set. But time and focus become a challenge, they become a thing
that holds you back versus the thing that got you successful.

And that is something I've been really dealing with for the last several months,
especially since we relocated to Canada several months ago. Because I really had
to get good at combining my personal life and my professional life, and not only
working on settling in a new country. Getting a house, figuring out the social
situation, getting my daughter in a good private school, and so on. Not only that
but more so kind of realizing that the older I get, the more better I'll have to
get at the skill of combining personal and professional life. And again like I
said, with a second child on the way it's really critical to be able to maintain
the growth in my business. Again, really critical for me to maintain the growth in
my business while at the same time being a good parent, being a good husband,
being a good friend, and being a good human being.

So how do you do that? What is the way? First off, I have to say that I'm sorry
but there's, and this is a Canadian thing to say, I'm sorry. But there's no one
way to do it, I don't think there is one way to do it and I don't think there is a
definite way to do it either. I believe that every single top performer that holds
themselves to a high standard of quality of effort will always encounter this
issue, will always have to find and fine-tune their balance in their personal
professional life, which is where having a really supportive partner really really
comes in handy.

The difference between me and Anastasia, I'm always moving forward. I'm never
satisfied with my life and I'm always asking myself if this is ... if we're doing
this, can we do this plus ten? If the results we're getting are X, can we do X
plus five next month? And I'm always dissatisfied with what's going on, I'm almost
never celebrating my victories. In fact, this is one thing that annoys the hell
out of my team is I don't take a break to celebrate. My wife, on the other hand,
she'd be happy if we would live in a shack on a swamp as long as we're together,
that's my wife. As long as she is loved and she has someone else to love, and as
long as there is food on the table, she'll be happy, she'll be satisfied. And she
doesn't get why do I keep pushing forward. How come I'm not satisfied with
everything we've built in our lives? Because we've got a good life, we've got a
really comfortable lifestyle. We get to decide when and how we wanna work, we get
to put our daughter in the kind of schools we want, unlike other parents.

For example, Erica's been going to this camp, it's an art school where they learn
how to dance, sing, and that sort of art, not paintings or anything. So this
school is located literally seven minutes away from my house. And one of the
reasons that we live in the area that we do is because we wanted to be near good
schools. Now, on the other hand, some parents are bringing their kids over to this
camp and they have two issues. First, they complain how expensive it is because I
think it's like $300.00 a week or maybe $500.00 a month or something like ... I
really don't remember because my wife handles the finances in that case. And I
wouldn't really care. Even if it was $1,000.00 a week, I'd still be paying that
because my children is the one thing I'm not gonna be a cheapskate about. Their
education and their development is highly, highly important to me. In fact, it's
one of the top three priorities in my life.

But they also have to drive about 40 minutes each way, so in the morning and in
the evening to pick their kids up and to drop them off. Now, what this tells me is
that they chose to live in an area where there's no good schools around so they
have to make the sacrifice. And whatever they couldn't afford because they
deliberately stayed in a distant area, they now have to make up by driving for an
hour and a half or whatever, however many hours in a week in order to get that
education for their kids. On the one hand, I applaud them for being willing to do
that. Not every parent is willing to drive 40 minutes each direction twice per day
to put their children in a good school to get a good education to help their
children develop with good teachers. But on the other hand, this only goes to show
you that we know exactly what we wanted and we made it happen.

When I say we, I really mean me. I know it sounds very selfish but like I said, my
wife, she only cares about being loved, having someone else to love, and as long
as there's is the minimum required for existence, she's gonna be happy about it.
Because she came out of poverty just like me, only if my poverty was acceptable
like average poverty, she came from really bad nasty poverty. The kind of poverty
where you really do not have food on the table. She woke up in the morning and
that day she didn't know if they were gonna eat, so sometimes she had to shoplift,
sometimes ... well, I don't think they've ever had to beg but they were always
moving because they couldn't afford decent living. There's been a bunch of stuff
my wife went through that helped facilitate the character that she has right now.
So I chose to respond to poverty, again, she had it way worse of course.

I chose to respond to poverty by becoming very aggressive about escaping it.
Because I wake up in the morning to this day with the idea, with the fear that I
don't want to be poor. I'll do anything but I will not be poor, and my family will
not be poor. I want to build my life in a way where there's no chance that the
next couple of generations of my family are gonna be poor. I'm working on it, I'm
educating myself financially, not just about how to make more money but how to
manage the money, where to invest the money and so on, which is very important.
Again, it requires time, energy, and focus.

My wife, on the other hand, she chose by creating a comfortable enough lifestyle
so there's no want, there's no need for anything major, all the basic stuff is
covered. And at the same time, she doesn't get why I'm always pushing forward. So
when I say that in order to create this balance, one of the partners has to be
supportive of the dreams, goals, and the aggressive pursuit of such of the other.
I really mean it, I don't see how in a marriage where both partners are aggressive
at pushing forward, how it can work. In fact, I've seen many marriages fall apart
because of that very reason.

Yo, it's Igor. If you're loving the content, hop on over to ListBuildingLifestyleShow.com
for more free training and a free transcript of this episode. Oh, and I'd really appreciate if
you'll log into iTunes and rate the show, it really helps. Thanks.

I'm not a marriage counselor, obviously, but I believe one of the reasons why
we're able to create and maintain a healthy household is that because she's very
supportive, and even though at times she doesn't really get why would I keep
pushing so hard, she's still very supportive about it and she offers me the
platform to keep doing it. So the lion's share of my free time in the mornings up
until about 1:00 or 2:00 pm it goes in the business, like asking questions, asking
the uncomfortable questions. Which area of the business we suck at, what we need
to improve, what we need to create, etc. So we create more, we develop, we build
more, we create a new webinar, we're building a service, we're starting a new
mastermind. Create a new product line, find a gap in the marketplace, go fill that
gap, and so on.

So that's one thing. Now, the other thing is getting very clear on what you want.
This is probably the most important thing for a top-performing individual. And
that is when you wake up in the morning and you have all of these unfulfilled
desires and dreams. What's really going on is that you just don't know what you
want. Because the moment you know what you want, if you're a high performer, if
you're a top performer is the moment when you go out and get it. The moment you
have really specific and really crystal clear clarity about what you'd like to
achieve in your life. Be it on the personal level, on the professional level. On
the mental level, spiritual level, financial level. On any level, if you don't
have a very specific goal listed on paper, trust me you're not going to get there.

And as much as I hate to say it, for the better part of my life I went not having
this down on paper. And even when I achieved some things, I was still very very
dissatisfied because I didn't know where I was going. Even if I made $1,000.00
that day, I still had no idea whether or not that's what I wanted. So I spent the
last six months or so getting better and getting really specific about what I
want, and not really about how I want to create it but just what I want in every
area of my life. And this is where I have to give big thanks to my coach Tom Beal,
who kept on planting the seed about this for years of our work together, and
eventually allowing me the space to gradually come to a realization that it's
something I need to do.

And now, I have an occasional weekly, sometimes monthly, it really depends on
what's going on in my life. But I always invest time to list exactly what I want.
And these priorities may even change from day to day. But what it really offers
you is clarity of action. So clarity of outcome creates clarity of action and the
way we work as human beings is that we need that goal. Because just like Dr.
Maxwell Schultz said in Psycho-Cybernetics, a human being is a lot like a bicycle.
A bicycle, if it's not in motion it just falls on the side. If the bicycle's
moving towards something, if the bicycle's in motion the bicycle keeps going. Now,
another analogy he gives in Psycho-Cybernetics, which is a great book, by the way.
If you're into self-help and success books that's definitely a book you have to
read. Another analogy he gives you is a missile, like a guided missile.

The guided missile actually, the way it works, the principle is it corrects itself
against the end goal all the time. So without the end goal, without the purpose,
the target, a very specific coordinate where it needs to hit, the guided missile
could not ever work because it has to just ... it moves in a certain direction and
then it corrects itself against the course towards that goal. So you have to be
like a guided missile in order to develop laser focus and the ability to execute
on your dreams. That I find to be very very important. Now, the third thing and
the last thing I'm gonna share with you today that you ... I won't say you
absolutely require because I haven't had it for the longest time but it really
really helps is picking on a hobby that requires mastering.

For example, recently I picked up on drawing, sketching. I went on Udemy.com not
ud-me, udemy.com, which is a website where you can buy a bunch of courses about
pretty much anything. And I picked up this sketching course by this fellow who
works for some art design studio, something. And he's really good, he's really
good. So I've always wanted to learn how to sketch, I sketched when I was a kid
but I never made anything out of it. But it's definitely something that I would
say semi-passionate about. I'm not willing to drop everything and become a
full-time artist, not at all. I'm way more passionate about marketing and
influence, and business than I am about sketching.

But I noticed that when I stopped working for the day, when I just kind of drop
everything and wanna just chill, I wanna disconnect and let my brain rest. What I
find is that meditation or just sitting in a room staring at a wall doesn't
actually work for me. And the thing I discovered is if I invest even as little as
30 minutes into sketching, and not just random sketching but actually focused
sketching, following along with the teacher, creating a character or doing
something that requires brain power, mental power. My focus ability almost
replenishes itself. Something about diverting focus from one activity to another
completely unrelated allows me to recharge my battery, and I believe if I adopted
this hobby years ago I'd be able to achieve way more in my life on the personal
side of things. Because just like any serial entrepreneur, I invest a big portion
of my time, today it's about four to six hours per day, mostly in the mornings
into my business.

Now, when I'm not actually working on the business, I am still working on the
business because I'm answering messages from my team. I'm thinking of the big
thoughts, big ideas, products, challenges. I'm not physically sitting there
working on it, I'm not near my computer but I'm thinking about it. So by forcing
your brain to shift focus to something completely unrelated but still something
that requires mastery, and then mastering it one bit at a time, there's something
magical about it.

I really don't know the scientific explanation why it works that way, at least for
me. But I do know that the moment I adopted this hobby into my life and I
systematically worked to master it, that was the moment when I started
replenishing my focus and my willpower. And it became easier for me to then take
this added energy for that day and invest it in my family. Spend more time with my
daughter, quality with my daughter. Spend more time with my wife, figure out
creative solutions to get our social life going here in a brand new country, and
so on and so forth. Because again like I said, every area of your life where you
want to excel, where you want to be more that just mediocrity requires lots and
lots of focus, because without it you're not gonna come up with the right ideas,
you're probably not going to follow through on these ideas because focus is
probably the singular powerful really laser-like focus is one of the secrets to
success that all successful individuals share.

Now, the only difference between the people who are successful in business but for
whom the rest of their life looks like ruins, and the people who are successful
across every aspect of their life. Is the people that are successful at
everything, they give the same level of laser-like focus to everything single area
of their life. Be it their personal health, their finances, the tomorrow money,
their relationship. Everything that you want to excel at, anything you want to
nurture will always require that focus. So your job as an entrepreneur is to
figure out a way to invest the best, the most focused hours of your day into your
number one and number two activity.

So if you're working a full-time job right now and you're trying to build your
online business in the evenings when your focus has been depleted and stolen by
pretty much everyone and everything in your life. And you sort of come in
exhausted and squeezed out to try and build your business or write an email to
your list. Your results will be exponentially worse than if you were to do it
first thing in the morning. Trust me, that's why writers write first thing in the
morning, because that's when you have the most focus. You have the ability not
just to give time and attention to a task, but to also protect your focus and
energy from being stolen by other things that may get in the way.

So to recap, we've covered that focus is one of the single most important things
for success in every area of your life. We spoke about the challenge every serial
entrepreneur faces by trying to balance between the professional and personal
achievements. And I shared three things that have really helped me to maintain
high levels of focus even when I was going through some tough challenges in my
life that really sucked a lot of my time, energy, and attention. And still being
able to grow my company and to advance my business. So these things are A, a
supportive partner. B, the ability to get clear on what I want in every area of my
life. And C, and creative hobby, a hobby that allows me to apply my desire to
excel in a field where the stakes are low, however, the mastery is still required.
So somehow that also helps replenish the energy. So that's about it. Thank you so
much for tuning in. This is Igor Kheifets, and until the next time we chat, have a
good one.

Thank you for tuning in to the the List Building Lifestyle. Get access to previous
episodes, the transcript of today's show, and exclusive content at our website at
listbuildinglifestyleshow.com. Also, don't forget to claim your free seat at the
traffic workshop I'm conducting this week where I'm showing how I built a list of
four-million-three-hundred-thirty-one-thousand-six-hundred-and-fifty-six email
subscribers without losing money. And how my clients are pulling anywhere from 50
to 500 new leads per day on their list at a profit without any list-building
experience. Just go to Igor.cx to claim your free seat now.

Who Is Igor Kheifets

Igor Kheifets is the founder and CEO of Igor Solo Ads, world’s largest Solo Ads agency. He’s the guy the gurus call when they need high quality business opportunity leads that convert.

Igor’s passionate about sharing up-to-date traffic & conversion strategies that work with beginners who want to make six figures while traveling the world full time.

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