Do you jump from opportunity to opportunity?
Do you get a “high” after purchasing a product or a service?
Do you think “I must keep spending money until something works out”?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, I got good news and bad news.
The bad news: you suffer from “shiny object syndrome”.
It’s not recognized (yet) by the medical establishment as a disease.
But it’s real.
And it afflicts people who want more from life, bust their a$$ off yet have minimal results.
The good news: in today’s List Building Lifestyle episode I give you the prescription to help you fight off the disease and never hunt shiny objects ever again .
When healed, you’ll focus on the things that matter in your business, make more sales and enjoy a stress free life, never again hopping from opportunity to opportunity.
Get your cure today.
This program is brought to you by the ThePodcastFactory.com.
Hi, my name is Igor Kheifets and this is the List Building Lifestyle, the only podcast
which delivers cutting edge conversion strategies from the online trenches straight to
your earbuds. Download the transcript of today’s episode and all future episodes at
listbuilidnglifestylesshow.com. I also invite you to grab a free copy of “The Wealthy
List Builder’s Survival Guide” at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com/survival and now
once again it’s time to claim your List Building Lifestyle.
Jonathan: You are listening to List Building Lifestyle. Welcome back List Builders
to another edition of the show. Here is the man that you all came here to for, the
guy that is taking you from location to location so it feels like you've known him
forever, Mr. Igor Kheifets.
Igor: Hey Jonathan, are you a comic fan? Jonathan: Yeah, well I was more when I
was a kid but yeah definitely into some DC and Marvel comics.
Igor: Oh nice, nice. Are you into the Fantastic Four?
Jonathan: I have watched the movies and read some of the comics, yeah.
Igor: Did you like the last one, the last movie?
Jonathan: I actually did like it better than the one before it. [laughter]
Igor: Alright, okay. You know to be honest I like the one with
Jessica Alba much better than that they have done recently.
Igor: But you know the reason I bring this up is because when the last version,
the last Fantastic Four movie came out, we actually went to see it, me, Dennis,
and our girls and we thought the movie sucked. We thought it sucked about 20
minutes in. The funny part is that we sat through the entire movie anyway I mean
although we didn't have to. Now that got me thinking, why did we do it? I started
asking Dennis and my wife and they said the same thing, they said, "We paid for
the ticket" to which of couse I'm thinking, "Wait a sec that makes sense until you
realize that you're not going to get your money back even if you don't watch." In
other words, whether you watch it or not, you're not getting your money back for
the crappy movie that you've just seen. So why watch the crappy movie? Why waste
two hours of your life on something you know you don't like? It turns out there's
this psychological phenomena or behavior pattern called loss aversion which
explains exactly why people go to movies and they hate it in 10 minutes and then
they stick out for the rest of the movie in misery just because they paid for the
ticket. Now what does this have to do with anything? Especially marketing? Well in
my opinion, my humbly accurate opinion, this really explains the "shiny object
syndrome", think about it. I invest in product A which does not satisfy my needs
and doesn't solve my problem but I've already invested in this idea of making
money from home. My next move get another program and then another and then
another and soon I'm heavily invested into this whole idea of making money from
home and it didn't work for me. Let's just say a year has passed so I've been
investing for a year and nothing has worked. Now if we think logically and
remember we discussed that human beings are not logical creatures but let's say we
are. Logically I'm supposed to quit. I am supposed to say, "Look, I tried four
different things, it didn't work, I'm done." But the reality is I'll keep
investing. I'll keep investing again and again and again until I either run out of
money or succeed. Now some will call it perseverance, I will call it the "shiny
object syndrome' because often times people invest in identical programs that
don't work they don't really see why they don't work so they keep making the same
mistake over and over again. When I first learned about loss aversion it finally
made sense to me why we do that, why "shiny object syndrome' exists. It's not that
the gurus are evil. It's simply because the people are conditioned to behave this
way. Same way as a casino player, someone who plays blackjack is going to be
chasing their losses for awhile until they actually run out of money. That's how
people lose their houses and stuff like that in the casino. It's real because we
chase the loss. Have you ever noticed any behavior like that in your life?
Jonathan: [laughter] Admission of guilt, may have done that before in some stock
market before I learned my lesson.
Igor: So it really got me thinking. Is it worthy of an entire episode? Should we
actually bring this to people's attention that this is why the "shiny object
syndrome' happens? Can we do anything about helping you guys prevent it? Because
in my opinion all it takes is a tiny bit of self-awareness and realizing wait a
second, am I investing into this next coaching program or business opportunity
because I'm still chasing the initial loss? Or am I doing it because I really
believe that this can change my life? Or am I doing it because I really believe I
can finally market this? Is this any different from anything that I've invested in
before? These are some good questions. Now realize this is going to make lots of
gurus out there angry with me.
Jonathan: No kidding.
Igor: Talking people out of investing into shiny objects but as somebody who
connects with so many people who are members of several opportunities each and
every day. I'm not kidding Jonathan on average the Igor Solo Ads client is a
member of at least three different opportunities that they have invested in that
they want to promote. One of the most common questions that we get it is which one
should I promote? And when a new one comes out we get emails saying, "Hey this
thing came out, you guys are the traffic agency so you probably get a lot of
orders to promote it, how is that converting?" So it's the same people that have
been with other programs for years are constantly looking to make further and
further purchases and investments in spite of not having been able to generate
amazing results in the past.
Jonathan: It's like a study in addiction.
Igor: Yeah, isn't it in a way? Think about, it's like cocaine. Many people that I
serve, they are addicted to business opportunities like junkies are addicted to
crack cocaine. They can't help it. Families are ruined because of that. I know one
guy who is truck driver whose wife left him the same day he invested in the
coaching program with me.
Igor: I spoke to him on the phone, he invested with me and then he called me the
next day and he said, "Igor, look I hate to be a douche bag but my family's
wellbeing is at stake right now. My wife hasn't been returning my calls. She
hasn't showed up at home and she texted me saying that she is done because that
was the last straw, investing with you was the last straw. Nothing personal man,
you're a great guy but I have to prove to her that I value our relationship more
than I value my pursuit of online money making success. Can you please refund me?"
He was really nice about it. He was really cool about it. I refunded him of course
but think about it Jonathan, I mean he obviously made so many investments before
we met that this was the straw that broke the camels back.
Jonathan: Where's the line though? Because you said it was like three years before
you started making money. Were you already married when you were doing that?
Igor: Oh no, I was just lucky to have a very supportive girlfriend at the time and
I just made it clear to her that if she will stand between me and my dream of
never being poor again in my life, I will not hesitate to terminate the
Igor: No, don't get me wrong, I didn't really say that but my determination, I
made it clear to her that if she wants to be with me, she will have to accept it.
I'm not going to let her starve or anything, I was still working two jobs at the
same time, one to put food on the table and the other one to fund my business but
I made it clear to her that my priority number one is that. It wasn't our
relationship. It wasn't anything else. It wasn't personal fitness or wellbeing. It
was just to figure out how make money online so I can build my life. She
understood. She never argued. She understood. She never really like supported it
and she didn't cheer for me or whatever but she never got in the way either. She
remained neutral. She kept her distance and allowed me to do my thing. I was
really, really fortunate to have such a partner but for a lot of people out there
and trust me I speak to them every single day. This is no joke. The "shiny object
syndrome' is for real and I don't want to make it sound as if I'm talking about
some medical condition or anything like that but it's definitely an issue that is
keeping people back from success because I believe they are making the same
mistake over and over and over again.
Jonathan: You said awareness was the key so how do you become aware? How do you
break out of that cycle?
Igor: Well, hopefully you listen to this podcast episode and you realize, "Hey
Igor is talking about me. I got to stop doing that." But as far as how do you
break the cycle is through self-awareness is the moment you're able to distance
yourself and look at your own behavior from like a third person view, you'll be
able to say this behavior isn't correct I got to stop doing that.
Jonathan: Give me a tip. How do I look at my behavior in a third person view?
Igor: Oh dude, we got to go on Buddhism and Hindu.
Jonathan: Yeah, hit me.
Igor: Okay, you asked for it. Basically you want to quite literally document your
own behavior and write about yourself in a third person view. So rather than
writing, "I am buying this business opportunity", you write, "Igor is buying this
business opportunity." Whether you're writing, "I am angry" if you're describing
your emotions, you need to write down "I feel anger or Igor feels anger." So you
distance yourself from what's going on in your mind. And by doing so you're able
to see your own behavior in a different light. Have you ever heard of the saying
"you can't see the frame ."
Jonathan: Is it the forest through the trees?
Igor: Something like that. I had a better version; it's from one of my mentors. He
shared this with me when I was running through a really rough patch in my life and
he just got on a call with me for like 10 minutes. He solved the problem. I was
like, "How come I did not see that for myself?" He said, "Well, when you're stuck
in the frame you can't see the picture."
Jonathan: Oh yeah. Yeah, perfect.
Igor: So in other words, distancing yourself from the issue and of course with the
"shiny object syndrome', the issue is you. Distancing yourself from yourself,
you're able to catch these sabotaging behaviors if you will. So now that's as far
as self-awareness is concerned, if you want to investigate more into how to do
that, I high recommend reading more of Mark Manson. A great self-help author, he
just published a book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Great stuff.
Igor: Amazing title, great book, one of the best self-help books I have ever read
but the fundamental belief that governs anyone who suffers from the "shiny object
syndrome' is that this next program is going to be different, is that this next
coaching is going to save me, is that basically the solution to all my problems
lies outside of myself so while this loss aversion effect keeps them investing
because they are trying to bridge the gap between what they have invested so far
right and what they gained, the actually belief as far as what they are hoping for
is that the answer to their prayers is outside of themselves but it's not, it's
never outside of you. It's always within which means you got to really think hard
and ask yourself why am I investing, why am I investing into this program. If the
answer is anything but because I know I can sign up a lot of people into it
because it's a great program, you should not invest in it. Side note if that's the
same answer you've kind of figured out for all the other programs you invested in
maybe you should not invest into it either. So it's getting a little bit
confusing, I understand that. But here is the point, if you have invested in more
than three or four coaching programs or business opportunities and nothing has
worked, chances are the next program will not work either. What needs to change is
you, your motivation and your habits before you can invest into another program
hoping that it will any different.
Jonathan: It reminds me of something that Peter Drucker talks about in Managing
Oneself, he advocates having a notebook which he calls feedback analysis where you
write out any major decisions that you're making which would be investing in an
opportunity or another program or what you're going to promote and then coming
back ñ well first you write down what you're going to do, what you expect the
results to be and then come back and revisit that 18 months later to see how it
lines up with what you thought it was going to be so that you can start realizing
whether or not you have great insight into what you're doing but 18 months is kind
of a long timeframe but it kind of reminds me of what you said there, writing down
your third person view of what's going on and taking a step outside of it to see
whether or not that's actually really the solution that you're looking for.
Igor: Yeah, it's a really useful exercise not only with professional challenges
but also with personal ones because we are often blindsided by our emotions, our
fears, insecurities and even excitement or potential gain so we often make
mistakes due to the emotional nature of our decision making process. We spoke
about this a couple of episodes back where we said that we got two brains, one is
the emotional brain, the other is logical. What we think is a logical decision is
often times is not so by kind of describing what we are doing or what we're trying
to do, we're hoping to do on paper from a third person view as if you're telling a
narrative or whatever or like an only point of view if you will, it's telling a
story about yourself to yourself. You will then be able to make a wiser decision
regarding whether or not where you're headed is the right direction for you. You
don't have to wait 18 months of course, that's a lot, let's be honest. But even if
you allow it to sit there for 18 hours or maybe 1.8 hours you'll find yourself
reading these statements out loud and be like that does not make any sense
whatsoever like a lot of times I'll read what I wrote down a couple of months back
or maybe even last week about the fears I had, about for example I got a couple of
trips coming up so every time I go on a trip, I'm worried about my business
totally tanking when I'm gone because I'm not going to be in control. That's just
one of the fears that I got. So every single time I read it after I came back from
the trip, it's kind of funny. It has no substance whatsoever but in the moment it
was very heavy on me. Were I to act in a certain way due to that, make any sort of
decisions based on what I felt in the moment, I would have probably made some
Jonathan: Now I want to circle back to something just to get a little clarity, you
got in the Fantastic Four movie, 10 minutes in you knew you didn't like it and
maybe you should have left but you didn't. Now people investing into different
opportunities, different coaching, different stuff like that when they're getting
into it how do they quickly get out of it if it's not right and justify the money
that they spent on it? Is there anyway to do that or can you give any advice?
Igor: That's a great question. Now remember that I said they are members of three
opportunities on average.
Igor: Right? So they don't get out that's the weird part. They will invest a bunch
of money into something and then they will move into something else but they don't
let go of the previous company or opportunity because they are heavily invested
into as well. So they are still hoping some day to somehow recover all the money
they have invested in that other program that didn't work for them. Now by the
way, a quick disclaimer, I'm not saying that which ever program you join which
doesn't produce an income doesn't work, I'm sure this same program works for other
people, it didn't work for you whether because you didn't work it which is 99% of
the time or because the actual didn't work for you personally. Whatever the case
maybe you have to make that discernment on your own but this loss aversion, people
do hold on to their even poor investments no matter what, no matter what this
inability to let go of a mistake or what might be considered as a mistake is a big
thing. I felt it on my own skin when I invested about $20,000 with somebody into a
business opportunity but for the purpose of having them as my coach but all I got
in return was one Skype call and then they stopped responding to me completely.
Igor: So I met this guy at a seminar, makes a great impression like alpha but
turned out to be a total douche bag. It took me about a year to get over it. It
took me about a year to get over this really bad investment, really bad judgment
call to take responsibility for making that investment because he didn't really
make me. I made a decision to do it to move in my life. Most people cannot brag
about letting go, they don't know how to do that. They weren't taught how to do
that and the value of doing that so they end up holding on to a bad investment for
years, for years and over time they not only have one bad investment but they end
up accumulating several bad investments. They end up being invested to the tune of
50 grand if not more within this industry; zero result to show for it and all
sorts of trouble comes out after that.
Jonathan: Wow. Alright so we're wrapping up here, Igor, do you have a tease for
what is coming up next time?
Igor: Next time, we are actually going to do some roleplaying, I've invited my
good friend Devon Brown, someone I consider to be one of the better tele-sales
people I know. The guy just has immense telephone sales experience, impressive
communicator, he emcees lots of events in our industry and he is basically like ñ
as far as salesmanship and marketing he is one of the people I have always
admired. He was in the industry before me. When I stepped in, I was looking up to
him and I still do. I consider him to be one of my dear friends and associates in
this industry, Devon Brown. Basically I invited him to talk about sales, to talk
about how to close more sales and what ended up happening actually we ended up
doing a roleplay thing where I was the prospect and he was the salesperson so you
can actually witness a real sales call in action next episode. Like real actual
sales call with objection handling, language patterns, scarcity, you name it, it's
going to be fricking awesome.
Jonathan: Holy cow! Oh man, looking forward to that. So this is another episode of
List Building Lifestyle in the can. We will be back in your ear buds next time.
Thanks for listening to The List Building Lifestyle Show, make sure to subscribe on iTunes
or Google. Play to never miss an episode because who knows just one conversion tactic
we share on the show might double your list and double your business. Download the
transcript of today’s episode and all future episodes at listbuilderslifestyleshow.com and
don’t forget to claim your complimentary copy of “The Wealthy List Builder’s Survival
Guide” at listbuildinglifestyleshow.com/survival . This is Igor Kheifets until next time we talk, have a good one.
This is the ThePodcastFactory.com.